Wendy The Wanderer

Stories Of My Life

Oh, this is soooo not good!

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This is me before I went to bed. I had a heavy blanket wrapped around my shoulders besides the extra clothes and blanket on my legs. I had the heat on, too. When I got ready for bed, I stripped down to my undergarments and turned on the A/C. I then slept without a blanket.

I had an absolutely excruciating pain in my left leg. All I could think of was a blood clot or spasm in a blood vessel. It was at the very tippy top of the pain scale before a person passes out. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I am surprised, and quite frankly disappointed, that no one came to investigate. I am sure the *itch upstairs heard me. So, if I get desperate for help, I had better have my phone with me. I rarely do. This is what happens when I have my phone with me in the bathroom. Snicker….

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So I get out of the bathroom and figure it’s time to take my temperature. I took 800 mg of Motrin a couple hours earlier and just drank a bunch of cold water. I am up to 101 degrees. My normal is below 97. No wonder I feel a bit delirious :-( My fever only got to 101 when I needed the emergency belly operation! Sooooooo not good!

Geeze. I don’t know what to do now.

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I have sprung a leak

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Yesterday…or maybe it was the day before? Olive fell off the ottoman. On her way down, she stuck her claws in my leg. I remember being surprised it was still leaking last night. Just now, I noticed it again today :-( This is my lipodermatosclerosis leg, so I didn’t realize the skinny part was swollen. Back when I had congestive heart failure, the slightest bump would start my legs draining. Sigh…I thought I was done with that stuff!

Last night I was in systemic draino mode. I woke up every two hours with a full bladder AND, I stayed soaked in sweat all night. Ick!

Today the gut distress really sucks :-( Something new hurts to the left of my belly button. That’s weird because most pain is to the right. My belly has been super swollen all day.

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I had to wipe away a lot of blood and pus to take this picture :-( The good news is that the wound site isn’t bright red….but then my belly infections rarely looked all that bad from the outside. Grrrrrr……it hurts sooooooooooooooooo bad! After numerous phone calls, I finally reached the folks with the hyperbaric chamber for wound healing. I have an appointment for next week. Can I make it? I feel ready to come unhinged NOW.

It’s 77 degrees outside and I am wearing pants, a heavy shirt, and am covered with a blanket. I am so not found of the daily chills!

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My face and most of my skin is burning up. My hands and feet are ice cold.

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Just now the wind came through very strong. At first I thought the reason the sky looked so bad was rain. Then I realized breathing hurt REALLY bad. I jumped up to close the windows to find them covered in fine sand. I am soooo screwed! My chest hurts like crazy. We are having a massive sand storm :-( Hurry up, rain!!!!

Today is like some horror movie for me. My neck is still swollen. Swallowing still hurts. My jaws crunch and crack when I open my mouth. When I smile, my lips crack and bleed. The back of my head is way puffed out. I ache all over. And yesterday my left breast started hurting. Today it’s way worse.

I am not sure if I want prayers to live or die. I like living so I can talk to and see my daughter and grandkids. I like living so I can look at and experience nature. I know being alive means more chances to learn and do things. I just want my body to stop hurting so much! Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

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Feeling extra yucky

I am sure the weather isn’t helping. It’s overcast and feels creepy.

I have been playing phone tag for 2 weeks with the person who schedules specialist appointments. She seems totally worthless in her capacity. I don’t say that lightly :-( Today I got her supervisor who sounded supremely annoyed. I left messages saying my belly is oozing thick yellow goop and I need to be seen at the wound clinic ASAP. My doctor ordered the visit 11 days ago. The scheduler was going to do all this weird stuff and I told her I really wanted to talk to the wound care clinic MYSELF! I have already waited too long. I finally got her to tell me their number.

Of course the wound care clinic folks are not taking new clients and are separate from the wound care ostomy nurses I have seen both inpatient and outpatient so far. How stupid is it that a major teaching hospital isn’t taking wound care patients?!?! The hospital system is quick to do operations because it brings in big bucks. They are less than thrilled about dealing with the aftermath :-(

And about my neck, a bunch of people have said they think it’s my thyroid. That’s what I think, too. I have almost every symptom of hypothyroid. Sigh… I had thyroiditis years ago, and this feels familiar. Sooooooo much of what has bothered me lately would make sense if my thyroid is out of whack.

Today I feel like crawling in a hole and drawing the earth in above my head. My guts hurt, light hurts, my head wants to explode, everything hurts. It’s one of those days that it just all feels like too much to bear.

All day there have been ambulances, fire trucks and cops flying by with their horns tooting and sirens screeching. What the heck? Is the world having a bad day?

Yesterday I am very glad I didn’t go to my usual favorite store…Rancho. I get TRAX right near the new federal courthouse. The federal Marshalls gunned down a gang member there. Going to the other store near the park was waaaaaay more relaxing!

Yesterday I took pictures of some of the businesses between the park and my apartment.

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The only one I have been to is the SouthEast Market. That used to be my Asian grocery of choice, but now there is one on the next block from me. Many small businesses are not wheelchair accessible.

The business closest to me is the strangest. It took me more than a year to figure out what sort of business it was supposed to be. I watch all the comings and goings because the view out my window is their parking lot and driveway. It’s J Scott Anderson. They don’t have a website, I don’t see customers. The “storefront” doesn’t say what it is. Let’s just say I have more questions than answers. One of my neighbors went in to ask about a lamp. It was $2000.

There is an internet company that lists businesses. The website for the company is incorrect.

http://www.manta.com/c/mmlz5v7/j-scott-anderson-inc

Interior design, huh?

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The yellow tulips I like are lining their driveway on one side.

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That’s their driveway, looking from the road to my apartment and my apartment to the road. Soon I will move and see new mysteries.

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What IS that???

I had a heck of a time swallowing two pills. Water has been painful all afternoon and evening. I had a smoothie for supper because swallowing hurts so much.

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This is new to me. The worst lump is between my fingers. It’s the size of a walnut in the shell. It feels really weird when I pinch it. Any guesses what’s going on?

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Good thing I went out today

Beginning at 8 AM Tuesday, we are under a high wind alert of up to 60 mph. There are going to be a whole lot of flower petals flying around. Here are more pics from today. Good thing I caught them before the wind took them to another county!

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OK, so I am an idiot

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I wanted to go buy a dozen eggs. I really didn’t need anything else. TV was boring and it was a beautiful day. We usually get eggs in our food bank box, but no such luck this month. Soooo…I decided to go to Smith’s. I wore my special sun protection hat in an effort to avoid yesterday’s agony.

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I zoomed in a beeline to the grocery store, then I went around Liberty Park on my way home. I wanted to take pictures. I got 80 pics!

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The above pictures were taken around the Tracy Aviary.

http://www.tracyaviary.org

I have never been inside the gate. Someday I will fork over the $7 entrance fee. The pics are the peacock, ducks, scarlet ibis, Andean condor and some sort of really big, funny looking pelican.

The rides looked very different without kids. Lots of them on the playgrounds, though :-)

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I am saving all the flower pics for another post. I was only gone a couple of hours. I don’t think I will be OK tonight. I am sure the hat helped, but I don’t feel well. Swallowing water or food hurts. I can feel all sorts of lymphs/glands in my neck and jaw are all swollen up. Darn it!

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Have you ever tried the paper test with my face? Cover one half and imagine what I look like. Do the same thing with the other side. I definitely have a split personality!

I don’t know which is worse….kicking myself for sitting home in my comfy chair, or going out and about so I end up sicker!?!?!????!!!!

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Silly Wendy!

All evening I could feel the inevitable after-sun skin creepiness and overall sickness. At 9 PM, when the chills hit, I went to bed, thinking I could sleep through it. Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha……

I woke up, what felt like more frozen than I have ever felt. My body went into a giant clench and then I had apartment shaking chills. The cat wailed and fled. I was ice from head to toe, but my feet were definitely worse. After what seemed like forever, I was able to get up and get a second blanket.

The chills got even more violent. There was another giant clench of my body. I was surprised that my teeth didn’t break. I was also afraid my heart got hurt. My muscles clamped down on it. I writhed around in bed, gasping more than I have ever gasped. I thought I was going to die. I could not get enough air. I fell asleep shivering, wondering if I would live the night.

I woke up a few times with my hernia puffed way out, as hard as could be. It wouldn’t relax and I could feel it tearing. The same thing was happening to my bladder that was coming out of me :-( I again drifted off to sleep.

At 1 AM, I woke up soaked in sweat, with pools of sweat in the crooks of my arm, on my chest and belly. My hair was soaked. When I got up, there were sweat soaked spots all over the sheet. I went to the bathroom and my feet were even redder than the picture I put on here. I got in my comfy chair with a fan turned on me and the A/C on.

My head hurts soooooooo bad! All around my heart is wicked painful. My hernia and cystocele make me want to cry :-( Oh. My. Gosh! This has been quite the ordeal! I took meds and am hoping to feel better soon. My heart is pounding. Ugh. Every muscle in my body feels trashed. What a night!

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Easter Sunday

Yes, I cry too much. Inspirational prayers, amazing stories, great talks. I don’t mean to cry, I just do. If someone is sympathetic or empathetic, I cry. When pain shoots through me, I cry. When I am frustrated, I cry. No wonder I have Sjogren’s…my eyes are dry because I used up all my tears!

Yesterday, while listening to the live band and texting my daughter, I burst into tears big time. I have to take a stack of bandana handkerchiefs everywhere I go.

Church was awesome. My body was awesome enough to get me there, but all the pain was soooo NOT awesome. I did better after church when I was outside, under the shade of a gorgeous flowering tree, talking to a few people.

To sum up today, Christ lives!!!!! :-)

Now follow me home from church.

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Why????

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How can going 3 blocks, eating some free food, sitting in the shade for 20 minutes and coming home 3 blocks in a power chair cause so much agony?

I just went through hours of chills, my skin hurt, my eyeballs felt pierced and you name it, it hurt. Then it instantly reversed so my face and belly were on fire. It felt like a 10 day flu accelerated to 10 hours. My head hurts something fierce.

Why do I have to keep going through this? Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I no longer remember what “normal” feels like. It has been too many years.

Right now, either my gallbladder or pancreas hurts. I can’t figure out which. I have a gall stone and I have had pancreatitis. I poked around my abdomen and now my heart is pounding like crazy.

I don’t want to miss church tomorrow. As soon as my heart calms down and the abdominal pain lessens, I guess it’s bedtime. I sure hope that’s soon. My heart is trying to pound right out of my chest! Ouch.

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More virulent strains of West Nile Virus

This is from 2012. I ended up in the ER twice in August 2012, thanks to WNV. I still feel the effects daily :-(

I want to save this link on my blog.

http://m.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/hints-of-a-more-virulent-mutating-west-nile-virus-emerge/2012/11/08/75e37776-2523-11e2-9313-3c7f59038d93_story.html

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