Wendy The Wanderer

Stories Of My Life

This place is crazy

Today we got a full page memo from the manager informing us that the stupid knick knacks now lying around the building, are being pilfered. No fooling. Some people will steal anything, even ugly, useless stuff. This is my favorite quote…

“The owners have spent a lot of money placing these items at the property to brighten the property; this was done for the residents benefit not the owners”.

Besides the cringeworthy errors in writing, what a bunch of BS! This place is run by a “non-profit” company. I am curious how they manage that designation. They take in a huge amount in rent. They get what we pay, plus more from the government. NOBODY ever asks what residents want. The landscaping and interior decorating were NOT for us. I am not impressed with the results from either. Most people here would vote for snow removal, fixed A/C’s and heaters, things in apartments repaired, cigarette smoke abatement and stuff like that, not things that make the owner’s ego feel better.

The maintenance man was saying he starts retirement in a few months. He said he would get $3500 from Social Security and $3500 from the mine retirement per month. I told him I get about $8000 per year. You should have seen his face! He thought I was joshing him. He was speechless. Kind of amusing to watch :-) You would think he might know more about the incomes of people who live here.

Yesterday a local poverty organization asked me if I would talk to Senator Hatch about being disabled and low income. Congress wants to cut Social Security benefits by 20% and they thought he should know how close to the bone I already live. I knew that sounded fishy. Never in my life has a Republican politician wanted to pass a law that benefitted me, unless it somehow benefitted them. I am the one they hold up as the problem, not someone to help.

Sure enough, the whole story came out today. Hatch wants to threaten to cut disability income in order to get other concessions.

http://ieet.org/index.php/IEET/more/eskow20140716

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This is the article the local anti-poverty agency shared earlier, along with the graphic.

http://www.cbpp.org/cms/index.cfm?fa=view&id=4169#part4

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If it were only me going through tough times, I wouldn’t say so much. In my travels about the country and from conversations on support groups, I know there are many, many people hurting and struggling. My further education in this apartment building is eye-opening. Most of the people facing the biggest obstacles do not have a voice. Some of the quietest, meekest people are the ones who most need to be heard. Sigh…..

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What should I do?

Last night I woke up crying. What woke me were the tears hitting my CPAP mask and spattering. What a strange thing! I must have been crying quite a while in my sleep. The pillow and bedding were wet.

Some time around morning’s first light, I woke up to go to the bathroom. I stood up and collapsed :-o I had to hang on to my walker for dear life to get to the toilet. I almost couldn’t get up again. I was on the verge of passing out while washing my hands. My toes were curled and trying to grip the tile floor. Every major muscle in my body was quivering like crazy. I seriously felt near death. I got back in bed and had muscle spasms and that awful buzzing and quivering all over. I could barely breathe even with CPAP and oxygen. Eventually I fell back asleep.

At 10:23 I woke up with a start. I had been having horrible anxiety dreams about being in college. I was supposed to meet my neighbor at 10:30. My adrenalin started my heart pumping over time. I took a quick shower. I didn’t pick up anything, just slipped on the easiest clothes and took off shaking.

I was OK, sort of, on the way to the park. Half way there I grabbed my chest. The pain was excruciating. It was from muscles, not my heart. The effort to breathe gets intense. Went through the line once. All I got was a peach, a plum and a broken up cookie. I ate the cookie since I hadn’t eaten breakfast. Just read about the stone fruit recall. Great.

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On the way home from the park, I was gasping more and more. We stopped at the little park to rest in the shade. Soon my voice changed, my chest was heaving and my eyes were streaming tears, even though I wasn’t crying. The creepiest thing was my face. The whole right side drooped and my bottom lip got fat and twitched. Pam told me I looked like I was caving in onto myself and was getting smaller and smaller in my chair. I don’t even remember the rest of the way home.

As we sat in the lobby soaking up A/C, I slowly felt more alive. The resident assistant came over to tell me some worried person had called her last night. Was that you, missionaries? She told me I didn’t look well at all. I told her a hospital visit might be imminent.

Once I got back in my nice, cold apartment, I finally started catching my breath. As long as I sit still, it’s not crisis mode. The second I move, it all starts up again. I certainly seem to be freaking out my neighbors. I wish I knew what to do!!! It’s got to be a combo of WNV and MG. Unless I get IVIg or massive doses of prednisone or IV Solumedrol, I don’t think there is anything else that can be done. Soooooooooooooooooooo frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never know at what point to seek help. A year ago April, I had many of these problems. I got two chest X-rays and was passed around and ignored until I got hospitalized through the ER at a different hospital. I hate that my chronic illnesses seem to paralyze doctors.

It would be a whole other thing if I was a business man with great insurance!

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Apartment torture

Oh. My. Gosh!!!!! It’s a good thing I saw and wondered about the truck parked in front of my window. I don’t remember what it said, except across the back, one of the words was fire. I figured it was someone here to either service fire extinguishers or fire alarms.

All of the sudden the strobe light across from my comfy chair and the most gosh awful piercing alarm went off. It hurt my ears REALLY BAD. I went out in the hallway in self defense. The light flashes make me get weak. Even holding on to the woodwork, I almost collapsed. It went on several minutes :-( I always wondered what the fire alarm sounded like. My guess is that the system malfunctioned yesterday. There was smoke coming from an apartment in my hallway last night…and no smoke alarm was going off. My smoke alarm is TOO sensitive! Steam from cooking sets it off. I took some pics to show the strobe and alarm, plus the smoke detector. See how close the smoke alarm is to the stove?

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What I just did was stupid :-( I had to lift both hands above my head to take the kitchen pic. With MG, putting my arms above my head is a major big deal. Now they don’t work too well. I am also heaving my chest up and down and gasping for breath. I never remember until AFTER I do dumb things. Sigh…..now I made lots of body parts mad. The lymphs instantly swelled up and the migraine came back. Dang it!!!

Another WNV induced owie is the reactivation of my lipodermatosclerosis. It has been bugging me for awhile now. Sometimes I get wicked bad pains from the part that is eating up fat in my leg. Lately the rash has come back on the back of my calf. I am talking about the red rash amongst the brown spots. Kind of hard to see in pics.

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I have been thinking a lot about surgery. How often is it REALLY necessary? There are several surgeries docs thought I should have, but I never got. The first in that category was my intestines 30 years ago. That surgeon said I had to get three feet removed the next day. I got up and ran, signing out AMA. I guess that’s what empowered me to sign out AMA many more times in my life. I knew they did not have MY interests as the first priority.

What got me thinking about all this is the latest study that says bad healthcare is the third leading cause of death in the US.

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I was told I needed my gall bladder out several times from 2006 to now. Still unoperated on are the thymus, rectocele, cystocele, diverticulitis, fistulas, knee because of arthritis, ankle fusion after break, spinal problems, veins in legs and who knows what else I am forgetting? I sure have met with more than my share of surgeons! I sure wish I had never met the surgeon who did my hysterectomy and emergency infection operation!!!!

I got a fever by late afternoon, then chills. Ohhhhhhh, how I don’t want to go through THAT any more. Then my eyes cried by themselves, my throat got sore, my ears ached and I became totally stuffed up. After awhile, those things eased up and it was hard to breathe again. That’s when Olive got excited and faces appeared outside my window. The missionaries were worried about me and drove a long way here to see if I was OK.

Truthfully, I was wondering if I was going to pass out. It was suggested that I use my inhaler. Albuterol is supposed to work quickly. It took awhile to kick in. Now I am hyper from it. Sure gets the heart speeding! Before breathing in the inhaler, I am supposed to exhale all the way. Dang! My lungs were LOUD! I guess my airways were in tough shape. I declined a ride to the ER. After they left, I felt like I was going to die. Somebody must have been praying for me :-) I eventually got some of my brain cells back. It’s both creepy and cool when I feel myself slipping away.

There are dozens of things wrong with me all at once. The top of my hand has a big purple swelling. Very owie. And why, oh why do I keep getting lots of rashes and random hives??? I itch all over. When I went out to get my mail tonight, a whole group of people started discussing my eyes. There are varying opinions about how they roll around, but everyone agrees they are moving in weird directions. They also say my pupils dilate a lot….and I make funny faces. I need somebody to take a video! I want to see what’s freaking out all these people ;-) My eyes are dribbling just like when I first got WNV. Sigh, my body is more fun to watch change channels than the TV. Never a dull moment. Olive isn’t dull either. She has had a lot to say today. It wears her out :-)

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Is an ER visit imminent?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It feels like a conjunction of MG, lupus, WNV, the fistulas and who knows what else???

My body is doing very weird things. I wrote down these words to try to explain…jittering, quivering, vibrating, weakness, buzzing. It’s hard to explain. Last night the worst was in my thighs. Overnight it became my whole body. Yesterday when I took a shower, it made me totally weak and out of breath. Today just standing up does that.

Last night was rough. I got up every hour or two to pee. Just like when I first got WNV, I was swelled up with fluid, but exhibiting the signs of dehydration. In the early morning my neck was swollen so that it was wider than my head :-o The lymphs and glands everywhere in my head were feeling overfilled and ready to blow. I had an extremely sore throat and could barely swallow. When I finally woke up in the afternoon, my throat wasn’t as bad, but the migraine was back. Each time I got up, then got back in bed, my muscles jittered and quivered “forever”. It was hard to sleep soundly and I was sooooooo tired!

Just now, the last time I got up, I was wondering if I was going to faint or die. The weakness was almost paralyzing. It’s bad enough when it’s arms and legs, but this is also breathing. If I was in Lakeland or St Petersburg, Florida, I would go to the ER now. They understood this weakness and would take care of me. It’s ironic that different parts of the country have been better than others at dealing with certain systems and symptoms. I wish I knew where to go and what to do. Sigh…

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Hmmmmm…..

Earlier this week I was contacted by the leader of a youth group. They wanted to come work on my yard. I told her I didn’t have a yard. Here’s the text I got back “We decided we wanted to visit with the elderly of the church. Our theme is remember and we want to help them remember where they came from”. If you were me, would that make you feel all warm and fuzzy and eager to participate?

I said I would let her know. Of course I then promptly forgot all about it. Got to FNB in the park and checked my phone. There was a message from about 15 minutes earlier that said “We are planning on coming this morning! See you in about a half hour”. Ummmmm…..NO! I said I wasn’t home.

All my life as a disabled and/or low income person, I have had to jump through a zillion hoops to get what I need, or I am expected to want what is offered. Sometimes I am offered wonderful things, like the furniture for this apartment. Sometimes I am offered things I don’t need and don’t want. That especially irks me when the reason it’s being offered is solely to make the other party feel useful and virtuous. How about finding out first what people truly need or want and basing the service on that?

I need to do a service project! I will go to the homes of the well to do and tell them how to live a simpler, greener, more frugal life. Sure, they didn’t ask for my opinion…but they need it! They should be grateful! I doubt it would go over very well :-p Why do they think their projects benefit me? It just eases their consciences. Sigh….

Yes. I am cynical. I was talking to a friend in the park while waiting for FNB. He had just spent hours cleaning the chapel. He is always doing something selfless like that. He is weird, but has an incredibly generous heart. I am sure most of the people in his ward look down on him. I told him he could tell me to go to heck for asking too many personal questions and proceeded to ask him church questions about tithing and a temple recommend. I would LOVE to know how many LDS people would faithfully pay their tithing if they had $129/month left after rent and tithing? Somehow I don’t think it would be many. I get tired of the hard line Republican politics of this state. Hatred of low income folks is pervasive. There are no dental benefits for low income disabled people. Food stamp benefits are lower here than other states. If you are down and out…it’s thought that you basically deserve it. Would those same Republicans have those hard hearted beliefs if suddenly the world was turned upside down? What if in some strange cosmic shift, we traded places? It would be interesting to see how they acted!

The self-righteous people who think I just need to do Pilates and water aerobics and then I will be all better, should get my diseases downloaded to them so they can show me how to overcome my health problems ;-)

Can you tell I am tired of being sick, tired of being poor and tired of being treated like a subclass of human?

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I like FNB because it’s all about choice. You can choose to show up 3x/week or none at all. You can choose what to take home, not just be given a box of food someone thinks you should shut up and be happy with. It’s a world of difference. I am extremely grateful. :-)

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I had a big salad for lunch that was made mostly from FNB gleanings. Greens, tomatoes, the stuffed mushrooms baked, then sliced; cut up lavash for croutons, salad dressing made from the blue cheese and the only thing I bought was half an avocado. I had gluten free brownies for dessert. Yum! :-)

I wore my humongous Solumbra sun hat plus my usual sunglasses. The light was still wicked painful. By the time I got home from the park, both eyes were drooped most of the way down. I felt icky. Talked to the woman who screamed at me and slammed her door. She acted normal this time. She said she is shopping for an assisted living apartment. I had a talk with the manager about her. I suggested he might want to mention her personality changes to her home health nurse. I told him about the time I got psychotic for a few hours thanks to IV antibiotics. It was bizarre.

I am still sitting here with my blinds shut. Light bores into my brain with excruciating pain. Today I looked up West Nile Virus relapses. It was eerily like what’s happening to me right now. I wonder how much WNV has to do with the diverticulitis and fistulas? The bladder to colon fistula hurts like heck :-(

I love my nice, cold air conditioning :-) My eyes go back up once I am chilled enough. I wish there was a way to make my neck stop hurting.

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Stupid air, stupid tears, stupid sickness!

All day I have been on the verge of tears. They finally started when I realized I am way too sick to go to the concert. The air here has been thick with smoke. I guess it’s from wildfires. It has caused all my lymphs to swell hard and cause tons of pain. The worst are all along my jaw line and back of head. My chest hurts even more than usual. I just feel very, very sick. My head wants to explode from a migraine. I had to shut the blinds, then fool with them until most of the light is kept out. I should probably take a Zofran to try to mitigate the queasiness.

It’s 90+ degrees out with poor air quality and I already feel like heck. Turning down this opportunity is more painful than the physical stuff. I hate this situation! It seems worse because I had a chance to remember the younger me this week. Unfortunately, ever since then, I feel like I am having a WNV flare up. My spine hurts just like when I first got WNV. It hasn’t been this painful for a couple of years.

Even though I am queasy, I am Jonesing for ice cream. My throat hurts. My gums hurt. I have sores on the inside of my mouth. You know what’s confusing????? Lupus and MG symptoms are a lot like WNV symptoms! I had to get a bunch of symptoms all together along with the feelings I will never forget from August 2012. Another weird thing going on is that my pee has turned that same dark yellow green like when I had WNV dehydration.

I keep having this feeling like I am in an earthquake. My body does this quake thing. It’s different from the tremors…well, kind of like having a tremor in my entire torso without any other movement. My arms are having tremors and this really creepy sensation that they weigh a bazillion tons, while also making me feel like I am going to barf. The stupid photophobia is the worst it has been since I first got WNV.

I had been noticing my restless legs have been getting worse and worse. They move around in my sleep. I am not sure I would know that without Olive. She bites my feet and pounces on my legs until I wake up. Now I start getting RLS earlier in the evening. My legs get tingly and buzzy until I can’t take it another second and I have to go to bed.

Separate but similar are the painful hips. It hits while standing or sitting. I get a sharp, searing pain that makes me scream and/or yell ow, ow, ow multiple times. It stays intense up to a minute or two and slowly stops….until the next time.

I am not liking this WNV relapse at all :-( it’s very scary and painful.

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Less exciting day

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At FNB, there was only one guy to do the giveaway. He had us meet in front of his house, the Boing! Anarchist collective. Two old ladies in line helped him set up the table. I got to be second in line :-) We had to be in the sun and heat. My eye instantly drooped. Despite yesterday, I continue to feel like MG crisis is imminent.

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Not bad from FNB. Lots of carbs. Last night my tongue was swollen and covered with sores. Some looked like pimples. Classic lupus stuff. Not amused.

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Olive is being a pain. After FNB I went to Whole Foods and got catnip chicken cat treats. Apparently they are the yummiest food she has ever eaten. She keeps rubbing all over me and meowing. She ripped the receipt I was trying to read. Then she knocked my pen on the floor and batted it around. She is stepping all over my book and just generally making a pest of herself so that I will give her more cat treats. After I took this pic, she snuck around behind me and started gnawing on the cat treat pouch. I guess a glass jar is in order!

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I went out to get my mail around 6 PM. My neighbor got home at the same time. Her house sitter gave me a bag of apricots from her community garden. All 3 of us started down the hall together. A woman came out of my ex next door neighbor’s house. She had brought her food. Turns out, the ER only kept my ex neighbor a few hours. I said hi to her when she popped out to catch the woman who brought her food. I kept going to my apartment. The woman who gave me the apricots was holding her arms straight out at the shoulder while “floating” down the hall. Her shirt was gauzy and the window at the end of the hall made her look ethereal. I told her she looked like an angel with wings :-) As I turned my wheelchair at a 90 degree angle to my door, my ex neighbor started yelling and swearing at me and slammed the door. She can’t see or hear very well. Lord only knows what was going on in her head. Her outburst earlier this week was creepy. Her episode tonight sort of terrified me :-o She must be going mad :-( I hope she doesn’t become physically violent! It doesn’t take much to get my PTSD going. Sigh….

I gave away three of my four tickets to the Mormon Tabernacle Concert for Friday night. I sure hope I feel well enough to go! I don’t have much oooomph left by evening.

About an hour ago, a helicopter kept circling, there were sirens and I heard screaming. I wonder what’s going on? Too much excitement inside and outside tonight.

Here’s a picture I forgot I took yesterday. I am sitting on the FrontRunner platform in Orem. That’s a freight train going by. At one point a freight was only a few feet from our train. Ahhhh….yesterday was fun :-)

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Freedom! Then back to captivity

I had two wants this morning. I wanted to buy mayo and I wanted to go somewhere with wifi so I could download an update for my phone. I went out and started towards TRAX. I was going to go to my usual Rancho store. But I realized I felt better than usual for me. I changed my mind about where I was going. I took Red TRAX to Murray and got on FrontRunner. TRAX is light rail, FrontRunner is a real train. I had just learned two days ago that there was free wifi on the train. It sounded like more fun than the library :-)

My next choice was do I want to go north or south? I decided to head towards Provo. It’s about an hour away. All I knew about Provo was that’s where BYU is. I was very impressed by the train. It’s a smoother ride than TRAX. I think it was after Draper where I started seeing cows. That’s when it hit me that I never see cows any more! Pretty hard to go anywhere in Vermont or the Adirondacks without seeing cows. Then there were ponds and cattails! Then a river! Then a big lake!!! Wow :-) What a sight for sore city eyes.

I got off FrontRunner at the end of the line in Provo. Since I had no idea where I was, I headed towards what looked like downtown. I like their shorter blocks way better than SLC blocks. Made me feel like I was getting somewhere. Then I saw Moroni! I went and took a picture of the old building being rehabbed to be the newest Provo temple.

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When I got to Center Street, I figured that must mean I was in the center of town. I saw a visitor center and went in for maps and pamphlets. I am going to study up before my next trip. Then I kept following that street and got to a Fresh Market. I bought mayo :-) I had no idea when I went in, but they took my Western Family gift card. Yes!

Across the street from the grocery store was Pioneer Park. I sat there for at least an hour, under a shady pavilion with a fantastic breeze. I was busy gawking at the mountains and kids playing in the water.

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I texted a pic to Heather and she sent me a pic of the window she is refurbishing. I felt about ready to crash. Headed for FrontRunner only to find out it was 47 minutes to the next train. I went over to the buses and asked which one I should get on to sightsee. I went up to the BYU campus, then to Utah Valley University in Orem. The UVU campus that I saw was gorgeous! Rolling green hills and pine trees. Then we turned a corner and we were up high, overlooking Utah Lake. For a few seconds it looked just like coming down the hill at the University of Vermont, looking over Lake Champlain, with the Adirondacks in the background. When the bus driver unbuckled my wheelchair at the Orem station, he asked me if I enjoyed the ride. I gushed about what I just wrote here about UVU and the lake. He looked at me stunned and asked if I had really seen all that on his route. He said he never noticed :-o

I got on FrontRunner and rode until Murray where I switched over to TRAX and got off at the library. The three loooooong blocks home were the toughest of the trip. The whole time I was in Provo I kept wondering why I didn’t feel sicker. Got to Murray and things started hurting. Got back to SLC and I was once again gasping for breath. The sun was brutal. The rest of the way home and ever since, I have been thinking about how much better I felt in Provo. The mountains are closer to the town. My theory is that cooler air with more oxygen flows down from the mountains. I haven’t felt that well in a long time! It’s not much fun feeling crappy all over again.

I had fun today. It was unexpected, mostly in A/C or with a delightful breeze, and all free :-) My Paratransit pass was good on all those forms of transportation. Maybe I will feel well enough to go out exploring again! :-) Next time I will pack a picnic and plan some stops. Sometimes serendipity rocks!!!!!!

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Swollen and droopy

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I took a picture of me after my doc appointment, while coming home on TRAX. My face is swollen. My whole left side was drooped…the eye, corner of my mouth and my cheek. There was only one guy in that train. He asked if I was taking a selfie. I said yup, for my doctor. Then we started talking about our medical issues. We had a lot in common. I was sad when it was time to get off. He shook my hand, told me his name and said he hopes to bump into me again.

I got off at Trolley station so I could hurry over to FNB in the park. Poor pickings today. I got a dozen partially rotten tomatoes, a package of individually wrapped fresh mozzarella, a package of hamburger buns and 2 muffins.

Back when I lived in the other apartment, Olive was real sick once. A woman who volunteers at the humane society was visiting the woman who is now my next door neighbor. We looked high and low for Olive. She was going to give me advice on how to make the cat feel better. Well, last night that woman was house sitting next door. She came over to borrow salt. Olive ran right to her!

Saturday I took my neighbor to FNB. She told her house sitter about FNB and we met in the park today. Like I said, slim pickings. She was on foot…and limping. I went really slow all the way home, with her leaning on my chair. I sure was glad to get back in air conditioning!

BEFORE I went to the doc this morning, I also took a pic. I sure look very different once I have been out in the heat. I wish I had taken one as soon as I got home. I had to keep pulling up my eye lid because it was all the way down. Once I get that droopy and sick, I can’t think very well!

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I had a low fever at the doc’s office. It has been worse tonight. My eyeballs hurt :-( My skin is creepy. I feel icky.

Oh! I have been wondering about my nose for months. I didn’t remember it being so large before WNV. I looked up old pics. I am right!

Here is me before WNV

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Here’s me August 7, 2012. That’s when my nose got way bigger.

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In sooooooo many ways, I have never been the same since WNV!

I will leave you with a picture of my lunch. Yesterday I used up the last of my mayonnaise while making egg salad. Today I got tomatoes. I could have made my own mayo, but then I realized I could use the buns, tomatoes and cheese from FNB by putting down a layer of egg salad instead of mayo. Even better :-)

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Hurts to breathe

Monday…Ozone very high. Mold high. Temperature 103. My chest hurt ALL day long.

I saw an ambulance go by my window. Soon a fire truck came along. I stuck my head out in the hall to see if it was my ex next door neighbor. Yup. I knew it. I talked to her for more than half an hour last night. She is usually very nice. At some point she snapped and started speaking harshly to the woman next to me. At first I just sat there in shock and silence. Finally I spoke up and said the other woman wasn’t being mean. Just as quick, my ex neighbor went back to her usual personality. I just knew something was very wrong. She was also the wrong color, sort of a pale yellowish, gray, definitely not pink.

I am actually surprised she is still alive. She is the person who made me very sick with her cigarette smoke seeping through my bedroom wall and flowing in through the bathroom exhaust fan. She smoked a lot and all her life. She was supposed to be on oxygen for maybe a year, but refused. She only gave up the smokes and conceded to use oxygen after weeks of hospitalization. By then it was too late. She is terminal.

She spent the early summer in the hospital, came home and fell a few hours later. Then she ended up in the hospital for quite awhile because of a broken pelvis. I have no idea what happened today, but I heard she looked horrible as she went out on the stretcher :-(

Living in senior apartments means watching people you know die or go into extended care….way too often.

During the Bachelorette, the power went off three times. It’s one of the few network shows I watch. Sounds like there has been some pretty wild weather out there tonight. Wildfires, wind gusts, flash flooding….

The power went off again while I was in bed using the CPAP and oxygen. Instant smothering. It’s a very rude way to wake up :-o

Tuesday…

I had a pulmonologist appointment this morning. She spent more than an hour with me. She wrote on my chart “You have a number of complex medical problems”. No fooling. Sigh….. She has tried all sorts of inhalers on me. None of them help. The doc promised to have a talk with my immunologist to see if he will lend his voice to the docs saying I need IVIg. She told me that the best solution is to move. She said once the hospital committee says no to the docs who have already prescribed IVIg, my chances of getting it are slim to none.

Today the last two Attorney Generals of Utah were arrested. Then there was an article in Deseret News about Utah refusing Medicaid expansion. I don’t like the politics here. I don’t like the hatred of low income and disabled people and I don’t like being a Utah Mormon! This place is creepy and full of people who think they are the salt of the earth…but they are not. I am sooooo NOT happy right now. I am ready to be teleported to somewhere else. Scotty, beam me up!

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