Swirling flocks of birds

birds

Saturday we had a hefty snow storm. People are still digging out from it. That’s why it’s even more surprising that birds have chosen now to come back. I missed seeing them. Usually all we have had this winter is small flocks of seagulls. Hmmmmm….

stormy

The storms just kept rolling in

I have been noticing the creep of creepiness. Our local CBS station is owned by the Sinclair Group. I’m not sure if I have been grossly unobservant or if they have been slowly but surely changing things. There were these opinion segments tacked on at the end of programs. I kept checking what station I was watching because they sounded more like FOX news than CBS. Then I started noticing that theย Sinclair Broadcast Group was mentioned more and more often. Then people who had been on local TV for a long time started disappearing. Sunday morning, a program came on that shocked me by the tone of it. Whenever lots of adjectives are used in place of factual info, my radar for creepiness goes of.

terrorism

Rise of Terrorism: Holy War is the program. It gave me the creeps on two fronts. I don’t understand why humans have to keep having the same wars over and over….and whoever wrote and produced this program did it to enforce their particular view. It was anything but fair and balanced.

myasthenic-crisis

I have been sooooo close to myasthenic crisis….over and over….thanks to this bout of pneumonia ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

And…about that no coughing yesterday? Last night and today is more than making up for it. So much crud in my sinuses and lungs! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I want to go crawl in bed, but people are supposedly going to be here in an hour or two.

mg-crisis

Wrote that, realized I was crazy to suffer not breathing well and slept 2 hours. Was awake 10 minutes and the missionary, Sister M, brought me my laundry. I realized I just plain cannot talk until most of the crud has been coughed out of my lungs. Talking makes it way worse ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I was not much fun to be around.

pain

I’m at a real unpleasant part of my life right now. Very sick. Very miserable. And….I don’t have a clue what to do about it. All the coughing and MG weakness has made it very difficult to read or even watch TV. The world is a pair of blurs. I cannot seem to shake the double vision for even a few minutes. Call me cranky!

blurry

The above is how my reading vision is more often than not.

offset

Usually my double vision is side by side and one objet is higher up than the other

next-to

Sometimes there are 2 objects of the same size, just overlapping

stacked-double

Stacked double vision happens to me the least often, but has been like that this week. The first time my eyes saw this way, I ended up being hospitalized.

myself

I’m trying….

Wondering how long I will live

If I knew how long I was going to be around, I could make better decisions. There are lots of possibilities percolating around in my head. I am not sure what’s wrong with me that can be overcome with treatment and what is just tough luck.

Each day for weeks now, I have gotten more and more swollen up. It feels like it won’t be a whole lot longer until my arms are almost useless. I cannot do really basic stuff. It’s no longer possible to put meds in my hand, bring them to my mouth and swallow them. I cannot twist my hand around to a flat position and I cannot bring my hand to my mouth while holding pills in it. I cannot grasp tightly and I cannot rotate my hand so pills can go in my mouth.

Right and left chair arms…looking down on top of arms

It’s getting extremely difficult to get up out of my chair. I added yet another pillow under the seat cushion. It’s awfully uncomfortable ๐Ÿ˜ฆ But the worst part is that I keep cutting the palms of my hands. I have to put a considerable amount of my weight on my hands/wrists to push up and get out of this chair. The chair’s plywood guts are sharp! Since I have very little hand mobility, I cannot even patch the darn thing. It’s getting so that sitting in my formerly comfy chair is more like torture ๐Ÿ˜ฆ There are three places for me to be….the living room chair, bed or my power wheelchair.

I used to get in bed every night with my laptop, watch a YouTube video or two and then go to sleep. That has not been possible in a long time. Now, by the time I use my walker to go from chair to bathroom to bed, I am gasping for breath with all my might. I have to put on the oxygen and CPAP before lying down on my wedge pillow. It’s getting harder and harder to put on my CPAP mask because my hands don’t work, I cannot raise my arms up that far and by the time I wrangle all this together, breathing has become a life and death proposition. I have to suck air for all I’m worth to get in the right position and then again to cover myself with my quilt.

To eat, I used to put a pillow and my lap desk on top of the ottoman. Now I cannot lean forward enough thanks to the hernia getting huger and the swelling making me unbendable. I have to lean back and bring the plate or bowl as close to my face as possible. I cannot breathe while sitting upright….but I cannot swallow while partially reclined.

Then there’s turning my head. My neck/chin/head/chest is so swollen that when I turn my head, the darn skin tags get caught and rip ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Hurt’s a lot….and happens quite often ๐Ÿ˜ฆ The back of my head is so swollen that I can barely tip my head backwards.

swollen-head-neck

Not much division left between head/neck/face. It’s a swollen blob.

Today is kind of creepy. I am too weak to cough. I feel kind of like I am encased in cement. I am wicked bad weak.

It’s bumming me out that I never found a hospice company willing to take my insurance. I need help. I need a nurse or aide to tell me when to get medical help and where to go. I need someone to check in on me and to help do things that are becoming impossible.

mg-droop

Myasthenia gravis is an almost constant PITA. Drooped eyes, mouth. My face is melting.

red-hot-ear-and-rash

How about the middle of the night rash and ear on fire? What the heck?

Perhaps something more pleasant? Three different days of meals, using the same chimichurri rice I wrote down my recipe for on Wednesday. I got 4 meals from the original 2 servings of rice made in the rice cooker.

rice-chicken-avocado-tomato-chile

Chimichurri rice with canned chicken, avocado, tomato and chili lime seasoning

rice-and-soup

Chimichurri rice inย Trader Joe’s Organic Tomato & Roasted Red Pepper Soup

meatballs-tomato-avocado-lime-chile-rice

Chimichurri rice with quartered chicken teriyaki meatballs, tomato, avocado and Chile lime seasoning

About that seasoning. For years I have usedย Tajรญn seasoning, but kept hearing the TJ’s version was even better. Ummmmm, yup….I am now in love with Trader Joe’sย Chile Lime Seasoning Blend. It’s great stuff ๐Ÿ™‚

chile-lime-seasoning-blend

I liked being able to quick fix 4 meals from the same rice. I need to do something like that more often.

If I had a wish right now….

wish

I wish the stupid pneumonia was over and done with. Each time I think I cannot take any more….more happens. I’m surprised my body is able to still function with all the coughing, choking and gasping for breath that goes on. I have a new pain at the bottom of my right lung….from back to front. Every. Single. Breath ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

I didn’t think it was possible, but today was worse than every other day. I am too weak to stand up for more than a minute. I cough until I black out. My heart pounds so hard that my whole body is bouncing up and down.

love-cat

This afternoon Kent came over. Olive went nuts over him. Made me happy to know she has decided to like him so much ๐Ÿ™‚ A few minutes after he left, Brian came to my window. Olive hissed and did her Halloween cat impression. What a difference!

black-cat

 

Kent says his pneumonia got so much worse that he went back to the doc and got more antibiotics. Since I’m sicker than Ken….I guess I should do the same. Sigh…..at least I know it not just me being too wimpy. This is a nasty affliction.

I got cheered up because Heather sent me a video of her and Desmond swinging together. Clever contraption! A kid swing facing an adult swing so they swing together. Oooohhh….I found it. They are called an Expression Swing! Made in Australia.

swing

My life is getting smaller and smaller

keepbreathing

I woke up to heavy snow. Spent the morning coughing and struggling to breathe. Some time after noon, I just could not take it any longer and got in bed with the blessed CPAP and oxygen.

better

Slept a few hours and now I am struggling even harder to breathe. It feels like without IVIg, there’s going to be a limit to how long I can cling to breathing. Thank goodness the precipitation has cleaned out the air! Look! Down to the green! ๐Ÿ™‚ ย Now it’s raining.

cling

My hold on breathing is tenuous. Soooo swollen! Very wheezy. Not enough room to expand my lungs fully ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Another day wondering where the hours went. I mostly remember pain and desperately wanting to breathe.

just-breathe

I often share things with presidents

I can’t remember which presidents….but one of them and I had phlebitis together. There were a couple other things a president and I had at the same time. This time Bush and I have pneumonia. I would love to fling this pneumonia far, far away! I am miserable morning, noon and night. It has weakened me.

storms

Snow, snow and more snow is on the way

I spent the entire morning coughing and choking. It started to let up around noon. I looked at the weather forecast and decided I needed to go get tomatoes and avocados before I could no longer go out in my chair. Same old same old. Getting dressed is at the very edge of things I am capable of. By the time I get to the wheelchair, I can barely lift my arms or legs and am sucking in air as if my life depends on it……which it does. There was no one in the lobby to help me put on my coat. Bummer ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

NO and PM2.5

Allllllllllllll the way to the store, I coughed, choked and spit. The junk in my lungs is so thick that it often feels like I cannot breathe. The air quality was awful today ๐Ÿ˜ฆ It was so depressing and I was so sick that it never occurred to me to take any pictures. I was in zombie mode. I don’t remember much about the trip home. That’s scary!

One of the recipes often talked about in Trader Joe’s circles is Organic Tomato & Roasted Red Pepper Soup with Chimichurri Rice.ย I am way too cheap to buy pre-made rice! A few months ago I bought 2 jars of Argentinian chimichurri sauce for 50 cents each at Smith’s. I put a jar in the rice cooker with half a diced red onion, half a bunch of diced cilantro and a chopped up fresh tomato. I used 2 measuring cups of Basmati rice, some water and pushed the white rice button. The cooker did the rest ๐Ÿ™‚

I then heated up some TJ’s Tomato & Roasted Red Pepper Soup in the microwave and added some of the chimichurri rice. I have no idea how close it is to the bagged rice, but it was good ๐Ÿ™‚ I wasn’t hungry for chicken, so left it out. Of course I forgot to take pics of that, too. It was a humongous struggle to do anything in the kitchen.

It’s another one of those days that was mostly coughing. I used 2 boxes of Kleenex. Neighbor Pauline rolled in while I was coughing my brains out. She made me take some of the codeine cough syrup. I don’t understand where today went. I know I barely felt conscious much of the time.

chase-cat

 

Feeling sick, sick, sick…..

bleh

I woke up with a very swollen face, neck and trunk of my body. Yes, the arms and legs are still swollen, but this feels extra creepy. It’s hard to swallow water again. But you know what’s worst? My brain. Has the swelling everywhere done something to my mind? For lack of a better term….I’m feeling crazy ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I also feel quite nauseous.

As I read news and putter around the internet, something is wrong with my thinking. I’m not really smart enough to know what’s wrong….I just know something creepy is happening. My tongue feels fizzy. Tastes like some nasty chemical ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Sooooo queasy!

Pretty soon it was time to shower, get dressed and go wait out front. I took out garbage and recycling…and lucked out. Kent offered to open the dumpster enclosure and toss it in ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t think I would have had enough strength. It didn’t take long before the paratransit bus was there to get me. I got another driver with a long white beard. He said he played Santa for Christmas ๐Ÿ™‚

Trent Nelson  |  The Salt Lake Tribune Smog trapped in an inversion layer over Salt Lake City, Tuesday, January 22, 2013.

Trent Nelson | The Salt Lake Tribune
Smog trapped in an inversion layer over Salt Lake City

OMG! I knew the air was bad….but I had no idea just how bad until we started going south, down the valley, on the interstate. Mountains were more of a suggestion than a thing. I was constantly squinting, trying to figure out if I was, in fact, seeing the Wasatch Mountains or clouds or what. Creepy. Then at some point, we turned toward theย Oquirrh Mountains. A few peaks poked out of the smog, but the mountains were barely visible. Incredibly disgusting air ๐Ÿ˜ฆ It’s not often I ride in a vehicle and even less often am I in a high vehicle on a high interstate bridge. It gave me a whole new perspective.

The roads were totally dry. The further we got from SLC, the less snow there was. It didn’t even look much like winter in West Jordan! We passed a couple of golf courses that were green, without a speck of snow. I got to my endocrinologist’s office 55 minutes early. Much to my surprise, I was taken right in. The endo thinks I am doing well at controlling my diabetes….especially because my steroid dose was raised since the last time she saw me. I’m not sure exactly what she did to my insulin pump, but she changed the background insulin dose to make up for the every afternoon spike when the steroids hit my system. Now I need to relearn my optimum doses. Never a dull moment with all my variables.

My BP was 150/77. Curiously, they weren’t worried….saying the bottom number was good, but the top was high thanks to pneumonia, swelling and pain. And as I knew would happen, my a1c went from 6.6 in October to 6.9 now, thanks to the increased dose of steroids. The endo also wrote me a new script for another meter. Mine has never worked correctly. I have to stick the strip in a bunch of times until it turns on. A new one will be great ๐Ÿ™‚ While the doc was pushing my leg to see how much it would pit, leg juice got all over her. Wish I had a pic of her face ๐Ÿ˜› She has no new ideas how to get the fluid off me ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

So I was done at the doc’s office before my originally scheduled appointment was even supposed to start. That meant a long wait for my paratransit ride home. I went outside and sat in the sun! Did you hear that??? Sun!!!!!!!! What a nice treat ๐Ÿ™‚ It wasn’t until I got on the bus that I realized a lot more of the mountains were visible. The driver this time was an ex-trucker. He scared the crap out of me! I did my darnedest to pay attention to anything but his driving. That’s when I started realizing that all the buds on all the trees were greening up. I sat mesmerized by all the greenness flying by ๐Ÿ™‚

bad-air

SLC bad air today

Then my next realization was the closer we got to SLC, the nastier the air and the more snow there was. Yuck! The mountains soon disappeared into the smog. Usually my whole world is what I can see from my chair…the lower hills northeast of downtown and a few buildings. I forget that a few miles or a different vantage point opens up a whole new world. Readย Living in inversion could mean a shorter life.

inversion

I live in the trapped pollution under the temperature inversion ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

ย Good news ๐Ÿ™‚ I have peed more today than the last several days put together. I hope that trend keeps up. I feel humongous. I am so swollen that my arms and legs can hardly bend. I feel like a big, bloated Barney.

bloated-barney

Trespassers kept me awake

trespassing

A little white Chevy pick up truck was parked outside my windows last night with a man, woman and dog in it. Sometimes they ran the engine for heat….which made their headlights come on. I was NOT amused. They peed in the parking lot and they also had a dog that looked like a pit/rotty mix. They were not very successful at controlling it and they did not pick up after it. They went to 7-11 for hot drinks a few times….so they were not destitute.

This morning they ran the truck a long time….with the exhaust coming in my apartment. The whole time they were staring in at me ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I called the office, but got voicemail, so I got dressed and went out to tell the office myself. Duh. It’s a holiday. No one is there. So I knocked on the RA’s door. My voice was barely understandable, so I had written down all the info and handed it to her.

Turns out it was family of a guy that lives here. Makes me wonder why they were not allowed to come in! Soon the RA knocked on my door. She told me next time to call the cops. Hmmmmm…..isn’t that her job? The man lives in my hall and went out to his relatives. The scary looking younger guy made ugly faces and said things while looking at me. I’m glad I could not hear him! They all drove off together.

All the creeps park by my windows ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

breakfast

I did something I have not done in months….I made my favorite scrambled breakfast with sausage, onions, mushrooms, zucchini, tomato, avocado, shredded Swiss-Gruyere cheese, eggs and served with a puddle of Sriracha and roast garlic bbq sauce. I paid a price for that! I had to keep bending over the counter to catch my breath. My very lower back just above my butt gets so painful that I kept coming close to fainting. It’s really, really hard to cook in the shape I am in.

And….for days now, when I swallow water, it often comes right back up. It was challenging to swallow my breakfast. The edema in my body now seems more concentrated in my belly. I can still taste and smell that weird breath. Yup….worried about my kidneys. Kidney function keeps bouncing around between OK for my age, to stage 3 kidney failure. I wonder what it is now? WNV and MCTD are risk factors for kidney problems. I can’t talk to my doc because today is MLK Day. I wonder if my endo can help with that? She’s the next doc I see this week.

I took a long nap this afternoon because I just plain could not breathe any more. When I woke up, my throat and lungs were full of crud that it took about an hour to cough up. That’s exhausting ๐Ÿ˜ฆ There were moments when I wondered if I was going to choke to death. When is this stupid pneumonia going to let up?

I’m hungry for lunch/supper, but am afraid of eating. It might be an ice cream day. I don’t think I can swallow anything else. I have no idea why my whole neck/throat is so much more swollen than even my usual swollen. My darned ears are mostly swollen shut, too.

Mail holidays are boring. Usually mail is one thing I have to look forward to….even if it’s just grocery flyers. Even when I am too sick to go get mail….at least I know there’s something waiting for me when I feel better.

cache-valley-air

Cache Valley bad air

slc-air

SLC bad air

The news is full of bad air news. Geeze! Could be worse…I could live in Cache county! I hate temperature inversions ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Despite the mostly gray day, I quick took a pic when some blue sky and hint of sun shone through. It didn’t last long. Tuesday is forecast to be a really bad air day, with levels sometimes in the red.

blue-sky

From Channel 2 News…..Weather forecast for Monday, January 16, 2017
The valley inversion remains firmly locked in place across the valleys of northern Utah. Low clouds, patchy fog, and haze will stick around for the next two days as high pressure sits overhead. A few sun breaks are possible at times during the afternoon. A splitting jet stream will bring a weak storm to Utah Thursday, with a chance for light rain or snow, but with little wind, the valley haze and fog may linger.

Olive has been bugging me for half an hour….telling me it’s time for my evening meds. I have been doing my best to ignore her. It’s going to hurt like heck to swallow. I hope the darn pills will stay down. Sigh…..

pill

Yes…I paid for it….

cant-sleepcant-wake

I was seemingly OK overnight, but today has been the pits. All that choking to and from Trader Joe’s was not a good thing ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I woke up coughing up blood this morning. I have had some scary coughing and choking all day today. Sigh….

tubing

Each time the coughing intensifies, I can feel my breathing passages swelling shut. It got bad around noon, so I got in bed with CPAPย and oxygen. It was a horribly fitful sleep. Olive kept walking on me, too. When I woke up a couple of hours later, I was struggling to breathe. When I went to turn off the oxygen concentrator, I discovered why. Olive had chewed through the oxygen tubing while I was asleep ๐Ÿ˜ฆ What’s going on? Why the sudden war on tubing?

laugh

As I was waking up, I could smell and taste something weird. I hope I am wrong….but I think it’s related to my kidneys not working. Dang it! I have peed less than a cup in maybe 24 hours. I even ate HALF of a watermelon and drank many cups of water. When I do pee, it is brown or green. It must be extremely concentrated to color the water in the toilet, since I hardly pee at all. The taste of my tongue is getting stranger by the hour.ย You know why this is happening…..right??? It’s a night during a holiday weekend!

boring

There has not been much to my day besides coughing and sleeping. Kent dropped by for a few minutes. His pneumonia feels worse today, too! We must have a nasty strain of it. Olive sure likes him ๐Ÿ™‚ Perhaps Olive is trying to hasten my demise so she can go live with Kent? He is excited about adopting her. Is that why Olive chewed my oxygen hose?

fear

 

I figured it out!

edema

It used to be Lasix that made me very sick…but Bumex and spironolactone were OK. I was on all 3 when my CHF was bad. So I started taking .5 mg of Bumex last time I went to see my internist. It seemed like I was getting more fluid…not losing it. I complained about fluid in my lungs. That got worse until I found out I had pneumonia. The NP prescribed 2 mg of Bumex at the same time he gave me the Cefdinir. When I felt sicker and weaker, I thought it was from the antibiotic. I swelled up even more so he doubled my dose to 4 mg. The whole inside of my mouth kept being on fire. Then the burning was the entire length of my digestive system. I continued to blame the antibiotic.

I did not take Bumex the day I saw the NP and went to the hospitals and I did not take Bumex Friday because of all the sleeping I did and all the people who were here. Both of those times, my sore, bumpy mouth and lips got better. Thursday the sores in my mouth were causing a great deal of distress and pain. Friday I thought maybe I had finally put enough lip balm on to make my lips better.

I’m not sure how I figured this all out. I decided to Google side effects of Bumex. It listed a bunch of the bad things happening to me! I must have developed a sensitivity to that med after years of use. Sigh….but at least I have figured it out. Yet another DUH!!!!!!!!

Then I looked up spironolactone. It says to use as short of a time as possible. I wonder if that was known back when I took it for months? Me and diuretics do not get along ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I think I should go back to the tried and true eating watermelons. I hate pharmaceuticals. Each time I get into an escalation of meds, I get worse. For long time readers….do you remember how I recovered from the 9 day hospitalization when they drained over 50 pounds from me? I quit their stupid CHF program, barfed for a couple of weeks and fled to Florida to go camping!!! The docs and nurses were livid. They said I would die. Pfffftttt….I think “modern medicine” is more likely to kill me!

I woke up and heard a faint beep. I was too bleary eyed to see what the insulin pump said. After sticking my head under the faucet, there was one beep and a weirdly black screen. I sat down and put on my glasses. Huh. The battery was dead. It had 2 weeks of power left when I went to bed. I must have slept through a whole lot of beeping. So, I put a new set in my belly plus a new vial of insulin and a new battery in the pump. Less than half an hour later, I accidentally caught my hand on the tubing and ripped it out of my belly ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Sigh…..

Got it all fixed again and started perusing my online Smith’s coupons. I had 2 free Friday downloads….refried beans and tortilla chips. I wrote down a few things I might want to get and wheeled it to Smith’s. I was not amused to discover about half of the curb cuts are still blocked….despite most snow being melted and no new snow for days. A lot of good it did to have all the TV stations and newspapers talking about the problem!

Smith’s has almost identical lumps of snow on the sidewalk to the store….off both 500 and 600. The pic in the middle is an obstacle between the lot and sidewalk, so I had to compete with cars in the driveway. How hard could it be to shovel those spots?

crisps

Next I went over to Trader Joe’s. On recommendation, I bought a box of these. Yummy! ๐Ÿ™‚ I cut up a few of my chicken teriyaki meatballs in a soup bowl, poured in some creamy corn and roasted pepper soup and added a handful of shredded Swiss-Gruyere cheese and nuked it. Ate it with some crisps. Yum.

What a gloomy day! It’s back to temperature inversion time. The valley is socked in. Mountains are just barely visible. On TV, they showed the bright blue sky and shining sun that is above all this mess. It sure did a number on my lungs ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I had to cough and spit all the way there, and all the way back…but was relatively OK in the 2 stores.

soaked-slippers

I had to wear slippers because my feet are too swollen for my boots. I looked down before going into Trader Joe’s and saw my leg leak had soaked the slippers. By the time I got home, the entire slipper was soggy. Yuck.

air

As we go for a few days without storms, the air quality is going to keep getting worse. If yellow makes me feel like my lungs are turning inside out, I am not looking forward to this week’s bad air! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I coughed more today than I have for several days. Although the infection part seems to be getting better, the swelling in my air passages is only getting worse. Tons of pain ๐Ÿ˜ฆ As long as I am not actively choking, my oxygen sats are staying in the high 90’s the last 2 days….it just doesn’t feel like it at all.

crab

Only three times???

I am wicked bad MG weak. Scary stuff. I constantly forget just how weak I am until I try to get up or pick something off the floor or get something out of the fridge. My arms and legs can do one bit of movement, then the next step is as if gravity was turned up a hundred times. Hard to imagine unless you have experienced it. Always my first response is panic and terror. I have to be calm ASAP and then rest. After I sit in front of the fan long enough, I can move again. It scares the crap out of me to be this weak without IVIg. Not being able to breathe causes instant terror in anyone…but especially us MG’ers.

mg-crap

myasthenia-gravis

death

How much more can I take?

I wonder that regularly. Just how much can my brain and body endure? Obviously the answer is quite a bit! I went to bed exhausted last night. Then I woke up 7 hours later even more exhausted. I have to cough up crud for hours…and by then I am trembling like a quaking aspen leaf. My chest hurts SO MUCH!!!

future

How prophetic! I wrote the title, added the video and first paragraph. Then I coughed and choked and struggled to breathe. I honestly thought I was going to die. My airway was mostly swollen shut. I got in bed with CPAP and oxygen. I said some prayers that God would please be with me. I figured I would not wake up again.

faint

Some time an hour or two later, I woke up to 3 people looking down on me. I was very out of it and confused. I tried to pay attention, then slipped back into sleep. I might have slept another half hour? Olive did her thing again. She put all 4 paws over my chest and stomped on me in a tight circle until I woke up. It was exceedingly difficult to come to.

I took off my insulin pump and showered. Olive sat on her perch just outside the curtain and watched out for me. It was really hard to get dressed. I had almost no strength. But….you know how stubbornly independent I am? Well….I wanted to take out my garbage and recycling. I opened my door to see if anyone was in the hallway, and there was a big and little box. It was a case of Kleenex and a bottle of my skin saving tea tree oil and lavender! Thank you Heather ๐Ÿ™‚ It was at the edge of impossible, but I slid the box across the floor. Then I sat in the living room in front of the fan. I was in la la land.

pillows

Next, Kent and Pauline came to see me. Earlier, Kent had freaked out and thought I was dead. He went and got the office people and all three of them came in. He said they yelled my name, but did not see me in the bathroom or bedroom. Then they realized both of my wheelchairs were here. They turned on my bedroom light and found me buried in pillows and under my quilt.

After Kent left with the office people, he was shook up about how I looked and acted, so he went and got Pauline. While they were here visiting, the longer we talked, the more I seemed to come alive. I kept going in and out of lucidness, but then got on a roll and we talked a long time. Olive had been calmly looking out the window, but exactly 6 hours after my last meds, she jumped down to meow and paw at me. She’s such a show-off ๐Ÿ™‚ I dutifully downed my pills. Then Kent opened up the case of Kleenexes and put them in the bathroom for me ๐Ÿ™‚ Later, Kent told me they had stayed for 2 hours. They left when my “shrink” showed up.

out-of-order

By the time the shrink got here, I was hit with waves of weakness. So frustrating! It was hard to raise my arms, move my head, etc. He helped me sort through camping equipment to give away. I think most people are amazed I am still alive. Me, too….every time I wake up!

By the time he left, I could no longer postpone a trip to the bathroom. Oh, my gosh! It’s a miracle I made it in there and back to my chair. Soooooooooo weak! I kept wondering if it was the end of me.

Now that I had a big cardboard box, taking out recycling was even more important to me. I honestly do not know how I was able to remain upright and conscious. Somehow I collected all the stuff and went out to the dumpster. I dropped everything over and over. Thank goodness it was cold outside! I got instantly stronger.

When I came back inside, I ended up talking for at least another hour near the mailboxes. Everybody said I looked awful, but I enjoyed our talks about kefir, yogurt, Vermont maple syrup and what it’s like in a sugar house while making syrup. Then I came back to my place and coughed and choked until my airway swelled almost shut again ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

mg

And of course….6 hours after the meds I took with Kent and Pauline here…Olive woke up from a sound sleep and started poking at me and meowing ๐Ÿ™‚ Yup…took the pills.

I took my meds and have been chilling out in front of the fan. Today has been….eventful. Only God knows what’s next.

crisis

There’s a long list…but pneumonia is what is trying to get me at the moment.