I thought I was over my anger




After all the messing around on the phone and in person with hospice companies….it was all useless. An hour after the nurse was supposed to be here today, she called to cancel. I was so mad I don’t even remember what her excuse was. I do remember that she once again said I could get help taking a shower, but the rest wasn’t going to work out because of my insurance. There was a lot more to it, but by then I was ready to beat the snot out of somebody and I told her to take my name off her company’s list….and I hung up. What’s up with all these people and companies? Why must these people mess with me for days and weeks????

I was alone and raging. I don’t like trusting anyone to do anything….that way I cannot be disappointed. I’d rather expect nothing and be pleasantly surprised when something, somewhere turns out in my favor. It’s no secret that most “help” turns out not to be helpful….like Meals on Wheels. I hate waiting for someone else to fulfill my needs. I hate needing things!

I had my laundry basket, soap, dryer sheets and quarters all ready for the woman who promised she was going to help me today. When she cancelled, I went to my room, ripped off my lounging clothes and was putting on outdoor clothes when someone came to my door. It was Hyper Helen. Not a good time for her to walk in! She tends to go from being helpful to being obsessively helpful. I was in no mood. I told her I was going to use this strength from being angry to do my own laundry! I practically had to run her over to get out of my apartment.

For the first time, I used the giant $8 washer at the laundromat. Sooooooooo much easier to stuff everything in one machine🙂 There was a sign on it that said I would need 50% less drying time. I took their word for it. I stuffed all the laundry into one dryer and put in a dollar to dry. Amazingly, it worked🙂 Easiest laundry trip ever. It also used up most of my anger.

Each time my adrenaline starts to wear off, I think about all the things making me mad, and I feel like a wimpy mother able to pick up and toss aside a car sitting on her kid. Super human anger and strength.

This week I keep re-living Heather’s 6 week unauthorized excursion from Vermont. She was 14 and took off backpacking by herself….while Vermont searched for her body in lakes and woods. Long story. Most blog readers have probably heard it. I had to learn to give over my problems to God and let Him bear the burdens. Because the Piano guy’s daughter is missing and presumed dead in Oregon, I keep re-living that experience this week. I am forever grateful that Heather returned home OK. It would be nice if Annie is OK, too.

My anger, tension, frustration and whatever is fueled by the fact that my body is trying to give out. On one hand, that feels like a huge relief to just let it. On the other hand, I wish I still had more exploring in me. Going through the process of letting go and letting nature take its course is a very mixed-emotion undertaking. I have a zillion thoughts and feelings. Then add in a contentious presidential election, all the people in my building in tough shape, frustrating world news and on and on and I have a lot to deal with mentally. I really hate being screwed with. I haven’t exactly forgiven the state of Utah for denying my IVIg’s…..and now getting hospice help has turned into its own quagmire.

Helen just called again. I did not answer. I pretty much don’t want to deal with anybody about anything right now. I am waiting for the flames of my anger to turn to coals, then ashes. When I have cooled down, I will go back to trying to find ways to cope with my health and the world. Grrrrrrrrrrrr……..stay away……..I might bite!



I wasn’t listening



I’ve been feeling confused ever since I woke up. I had only been awake about a minute when someone from HH&H company #2 called. She was very polite and extremely patient. She said she was coming here Wednesday afternoon to help me shower. Ugh….here we go again. I told her with my roll in shower and shower chair, I didn’t need help….but was willing to get it if that meant I was going to get other services. I explained that my hernia made it hard for me to do laundry, vacuum, mop, etc. She understood. It’s the same dog and pony show all people on Medicaid have to go through.


Then she mentioned my Medicare. I said nope…I’m too young and have the wrong type of disability to get Medicare. She was confused, but said she would make sure paperwork was correct. I rehashed all the problems with company #1 and then her company. She thought it was awful. She promised to get things straightened out. We’ll see. I told her a nurse from HH&H was supposed to flush my port, but since no one has, I am overdue to have it done. I said I was going up to Huntsman today for that.


I had to wait for the worst of the morning yuck to pass me by and then I got dressed. I kept having this nagging feeling I shouldn’t go. And….no matter what I did to get ready, I was super confused. I left around 11 AM. I missed TRAX by 2 minutes. So I waited 13 minutes for the next train. When it came to the station, I went to get on, but there was already a wheelchair and bikes in that car and no room for me. I zoomed up to the next car, pushed the button, the ramp came out….then it immediately retracted. I pushed the button a few more times. The train took off with me inches from the side😮


This has happened to me sooooooooo many times! Two rides ago I kept pushing the ramp button only to have it come out, bounce and retract. The driver gruffly told me to go down to the next car. He waited, though. Most of the bad things happen at Library station. Geeze. I was using every bit of gumption in me not to burst into tears. I made it off the platform and across the road before the tears started. I decided it was a trip not meant to be. I went home by way of Washington park.



When I got home, I realized my power chair had less than half a battery charge left. In all the excitement of almost losing consciousness in public yesterday, I had forgotten to plug it in when I got home. Ooops. I should have listened to that inner voice when I felt uneasy about leaving. Duh. I’m glad I am home now….listening to good CD music and eating lunch, instead.


My favorite lunch this week has been romaine from a bag mixed with Cruciferous Crunch from Trader Joe’s. Sunday I had greens, tomato, cheese curds, chow mein noodles, chicken pieces and bleu cheese. Monday it was geens, tomato, chicken meatballs, chow mein noodles and ranch dressing. Today it was greens, chicken meatballs and Goddess dressing. Salads are easy for wimpy people🙂 I am glad I can tolerate greens this week!


Can you guess what I was thinking of today? I have been trying to see nature despite the city. There are lots of glimpses of mountains between buildings. Lots of new construction going on, too.


Well….it took 7 and a half hours to charge my chair. If I had gone up to the hospital, I might have been stuck there. Whew…..


Tonight Hyper Helen came back. She is pushing me….in a good way…to prepare better for the end. It must be her lot in life to help people pass. She sure has a lot of experience. I appreciate her love and concern. I was supposed to answer Heather’s questions today, but have done a good job of procrastinating. My brain is tired. Soooo tired….


Yes!!!🙂 I got a package today. In it was a new SD card. I was able to put it in my camera, reformat the card and now the functionality of my camera and the correct camera/chromebook upload is back. Heather was right when she said I needed a new card. Who knew they were supposed to be replaced every 2 years or so? Thank you very much kind person🙂


Disgusted, angry, confused and ripping pissed


(I debated whether to leave this anger in. I’m calmer now, but it’s part of the story)


Every time I go past this house, I get the creeps. A fitting place for dark, creepy thoughts.

Late this afternoon, I finally got a call from fucked up home health and hospice company #2. Company #1 promised help thanks to the nurse of death and nobody came back for a month…and the company acted like people had been coming to help me all along. Company #2 sent a nurse to do paperwork and discussed the kinder, gentler hospice care they offered. It was scheduled to start on the 14th. Today a whole new nurse calls from company #2 and says all they can offer is help to shower because my insurance won’t pay for anything else. After further probing, somehow the latest paperwork they got isn’t even for hospice. WTF!?!?!?!?! Yes, I am very mad. I don’t even know who to be mad at for the moment. If anything can be screwed up…it will be.


This house always makes me wonder if druids live here

This is the angriest I have been in a long, long time. I’m not sure who is playing games and why. The nurse just called back to say she’s not coming today and it will be days before things get straightened out. Good thing no one can hear what’s inside of my head right now. It’s not pretty. I have been enduring all sorts of physical pain in order for my body to slip away….and for what?!?!?!?!?


All that anger raised my blood sugar and brought on a raging fever with sweats. My face swelled up. I was very weak and barely functional. Some time before 4 PM, I got so hot and bothered that I went out into the brooding weather. It was warm and stormy looking, but no rain since 3 PM. There was a cop car hiding behind trees on the top floor of the next door parking garage. He gave me the creeps.


I decided the only cure for my foul mood was ice cream. I went to Trader Joe’s for ice cream and salad dressing. Mostly I went out to get out. Taking pictures helps me see the world better and calm down. I focus on what there is to see and am not dwelling on me or my problems. Again, it took all my strength to stay conscious and stay upright.


When I got to the apartment lobby, my former window stalker stopped me. Then Hyper Helen. Apparently all any of them….and the many passers-by could think about was that I was going to die any minute now since that’s what I looked like. I was barraged with questions about death arrangements. I realized I had been taking a who-cares attitude. I figured if I was dead, it was someone else’s problem.


I got back to my apartment after the whole surreal polite nagging and worry….and had a great big bowl of raspberries, strawberries, blueberries and melting ice cream. The coldness seemed to bring me around…that and sitting in front of the fan. I started to feel somewhat better. Then Hyper Helen came to the door. She was here for a couple of hours.


Helen told me stories of all the deaths she had been present for. She told me I was not giving myself permission to die. I was losing consciousness while she was talking. My voice was broken, my chest hurt and my eyes were mostly closed. I wanted to focus and pay attention. I covered my left eye with my hand. Right in front of Helen, the muscles of my face started working again, my voice was clear and I could laugh and smile again. I listened to her a loooooong time.


Then I got a pain in my head, my right pupil got bigger and the whole right side of my head and neck got numb, my voice became broken, my eyes mostly shut and I was again almost losing consciousness. At that exact moment, a fire truck and ambulance pulled in the parking lot. Helen looked at me and wondered how I could have called them. I hadn’t. She left soon after because she thought I was about ready to slip away and die.


The whole time Helen was with me out in the lobby, then later in my apartment, she kept telling me about the Dr Oz program about death.


What Happens Right Before Death?

Originally aired on 10/14/2016

Dr. Oz explains what happens during the final minutes before death. Then, intensive care doctor Dr. Sam Parnia discusses the importance of learning more about death and the process of dying.


Yes, the stuff discussed on the Dr Oz show is how I felt when I died having Heather. Helen says I am not ready to let go yet. I keep slipping towards unconsciousness, then snatch myself back. It’s eerie she sees that, because I have been thinking the exact same thing. After all these years of willing myself to keep going no matter what, it’s hard to give up that drive for self-preservation.


I learned a lot of profound things about myself tonight. Now the anger at the hospice companies seems pointless and stupid. I think it was a stage I needed to go through.

more-vines orange-berries trolley-trees golden-leaves fall-corner leaves-and-berries tree-seed-pods greens-and-rocks sunflower-bed beehive-sign leonardo thai-food needles-leaves


In some circles, it’s good to be ripped


I have always been a bit contrary. Instead of getting muscles, I really am ripped.


That’s not really what I had in mind for Halloween. This morning I again woke up surprised to still be alive. With a bit too much exuberance, I sat up and tried to get out of bed. Oh, my gosh😮 I could feel ripping on a whole new level. I have been quivering for hours. Not liking it.


All morning I have been having trouble with my left eye slamming shut. That made me start thinking about Fletcher. Every time my voice started breaking up, he would cover my eye. I could then feel all my face muscles perking up. After having my eye covered for a while, I could go back to smiling and talking. I decided to cover my eye and yup…my face got better today🙂 I used to use my eye patch to make my vision and voice stronger.


After reading up on probable causes, I have my theories. West Nile Virus causes all sorts of nerve damage. It often happens slowly and insidiously, although some people immediately become paralyzed. I already had myasthenia gravis, which is a disease of the nerve/muscle connection. Somehow the conjunction of WNV and MG does this interesting and very annoying stuff to me.


By afternoon, I was fighting to remain conscious. When the stupid fever started to feel overwhelming, I knew I could not sit here any longer. It felt like do something or succumb. I went to Liberty Park. Most of my visit is a blur in my brain. I know I was really there because I came home with pictures🙂


It was difficult coming home. I had to keep stopping the chair so I could reposition my slumping body. Every time I did that, I could feel the hernia rip😦 By the time I got home, I was in rough shape. I parked my chair near some guys outside the door. They were incredibly uncomfortable and thought I was going to die right then and there. Even my voice did not sound like mine. My whole left side looked like I was having a stroke. I said I was going to go rest.


I got just inside the building before hot tears were pouring out. Dang it!!! Two of the nice busybodies were on their way out. I thought I was alone. They saw how horrible I looked AND that I was crying. That only made things worse😦 They fussed over me and I fled back to my apartment. I wish I had a pic of me at my worst. I like to scare myself.



i immediately soaked my head in cold water and sat in front of the fan. I spent many hours today fighting to not pass out. I am trying to be brave. I wish I had more guidance about what’s happening and what I should do about it.


I’m not as droopy now, but dang! I am burning up! I am actually looking forward to hospice tomorrow. I hope they really show up and I hope they will be helpful and not creepy.


The park was more fun.







Feel like I got hit by a Mack truck


Most nights lately, I go to bed and wake up 7 hours later…surprised to be alive. Friday night I went to bed early and woke up less than 2 hours later and it seemed like I had been in bed forever. I was miserable. I felt like a block of ice. And then it took a good 10 minutes to blow most of the snot out of me. I put on my pink fleece robe to get warm. It only took a few seconds to realize that I wasn’t really freezing…I was burning up! And every muscle in my body ached. Ohhhhhhh noooooooo! Heather had told me earlier that Fletcher didn’t feel well. Did I get this in sympathy? There is no part of my body not in screaming pain :-( Both ears ache, my throat is sore and my neck is wicked painful and stiff. My hernia feels rigid and the pain from that is almost paralyzing. Ugh!


I went back to bed and slept for about 7 more hours. When I woke up, I was again drowning in snot. Then the sneezing started…and wouldn’t stop. Air pollution? Allergies? Just plain sick? All together? Most likely choice #3. Every single sneeze rips my hernia even more. I kept thinking I needed to get away from this apartment to see if it would help….but I was sooooo darned weak!


I had to soak my head in cold water to try to bring down my fever. I felt like I was falling and circling the drain. I hate that down, down, down feeling. Got dressed and was falling and collapsing. It’s a miracle I have not broken anything yet. More gulping for air, more resting, more nose blowing. I decided there is no good place to collapse. No one is going to be thrilled to find me. I decided to get in the chair and just go.


I figured anything was better than sitting here feeling awful. Thanks to the wonders of steroids, I can still do things while half dead. I started taking flower pics because places near here have already had their first killing frost. I am going to miss the bright colors of flowers and fall leaves!


I wandered around my part of downtown taking pics.


I will save the library photos for later. As I roamed the library grounds, I could see tents! I went over there and saw it was some sort of Latina festival.


After looking around the festival, I decided to get on TRAX. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going. This is the library from the TRAX platform.


The only train that stops at the library is the red line. I decided I should go to my usual Costco while the big Costco can still be remembered. I got off the train at Murray Central and headed for Costco.





I went all over the store tasting things, but didn’t buy anything…until I was on my way out and got a very berry sundae🙂 Then when I got back to the TRAX station I mulled over whether to go home or go further afield.


I am always noticing RV’s in the hospital parking lot. Maybe people getting cancer treatments or family wanting to be close?


Are these supposed to be sculptures? Every time I look at them, I snicker. Looks like funny penises with condoms. They are huge🙂


Here comes my train!

signs tower-hat pumpkin-house fall-landscaping

On a whim, I went to Gardner Village. It was full of witches! When I first got there, there were a few bazillion dressed up children that had just been in a parade. Lots of adults in costumes, too.

purple-strut fat-witch with-greeters

child-witches matching


witch-photo-shoot witch-posing

Lots of interesting things to look at🙂

flat-witch bridge ghost-pumper

mountain-background ghost-raft inside-pumpkin-house pumpkin-shack

I’m too loopy to do more tonight. I am sooooooo dizzy! My darned right eye keeps having the pupil get so big that my eye looks black….then I start to faint. I had a fun day despite all the pesky physical things wrong🙂 I took more than 200 pictures😮


I made it to first base


I spilled salt lamp crumbs all over the kitchen floor, so got out my nice, new vacuum to suck it up. My kitchen is tiny. The effort to do that small amount of work left me gulping greedily for air….all the air I could take in. I sat in my chair sucking in air as if my life depended on it…because it did!


After maybe 20 to 30 minutes, I was breathing easier and my adrenaline had kicked in to make me hyper. When I get like that, I can talk fairly well. I used my hyperness and a touch of feeling pissed off to call hospice. Sounds like they are not a very trustworthy organization. First off, they did not have my correct phone number. The woman who answered the phone knew nothing about me.


I told her I had filled out their online contact form and twice had written to the nurse, but nobody got back to me. She found me on their computer and told me the nurse no longer worked for them. She promised to send someone here by Monday. I will believe it when I see it. At this point I have very little faith in hospice companies for the poor. She said they need all new paperwork from my doctor, too!


While I was pissed off with runarounds, I wrote yet another email to the wheelchair people.

ME: Seriously…I am in hospice and will be dead before my new wheelchair works😦  If not me, the other chair is on its last wheels. What’s happening?

HIM: I  am in the office right now having a meeting about your chair. We are trying to get the parts asap. Sorry that it’s taking so long and that you are so sick.

I wanted to say suuuuuuuuuuure you are! :-p It has been months since I could use my new chair. They took away the leg holders so it’s just a dust collector in the corner. Sigh…..


I talked to a couple of people today about hospice companies that have been here for various people. So far I haven’t heard a single good thing. Just great. All that talking in this building left me soaked in sweat. I was anxious to go outside into the cool air. 60’s today.


I decided to go the the country’s largest Costco. After visiting various Costco stores with Heather and on my own, I have a new appreciation for the store closest to me. It must be twice as big….and it has way more food choices. I took TRAX to Ballpark station, then wheeled it to Costco. It was a good day for free samples🙂 Instead of my usual bag of mixed berries, I got 5 pounds of frozen raspberries for $13.99. That’s only $2.80/pound. Great deal for raspberries! No other Costco I have been to sells them. I also bought a bottle of Kodiak Mountain Berry syrup (mix of blueberries, blackberries, huckleberries, and serviceberries). Before this, I have only seen and bought raspberry at Costco. I did taste a small amount of that syrup on a 25 cent sized pancake while in the store. I used the raspberry syrup with raspberries all summer mixed with Hawaiian ice.


It’s really pretty crazy for me to trek to Costco for a couple of things, but so far, I never get tired of going to Costco as an excuse to get out of my apartment. Sometimes I think I am totally crazy because breathing is so tough, my eyesight sucks and it’s not easy to keep sitting upright in my power chair….but it’s fun🙂


I got on TRAX at 9th and off at Ballpark. On the way home, I realized that it would only be a few extra blocks to stay on West Temple and skip TRAX. It seemed so easy that I am still marvelling at how close I am without getting on and off TRAX and the extra blocks for that. Google Maps says it’s a 2.5 mile trek. The purple line is how I came home. I enjoyed the coming and going to look at the sky and flowers and trees. I took lots of pics🙂 See the snow in the mountains?

honda garff downtown-mountains mountains-from-parking-lot

There sure were some pretty trees glowing in the sun.

nice-tree nice-looking-tree

glowing-but-thinning parking-lot half-gone plsating-yellow

I like landscaping here and there.

flower-mix business-flowers



There are at least 5 food carts within a block of where I live. I have never eaten at any of them. I am endlessly fascinated in the social vibe each business has.

taco-stand mariscos

When I got back to my place, the resident parrot was out for a walk.


The seedier side of my apartment building.


The bed bug bakers were back today. My favorite old guy, Buster, lives next door to the bed bug infested apartment of the day. He said his apartment got unbearably hot when they started cooking the bugs, so he hung out near the community room for the day. He said the heat makes the buggy apartment stink. Eeeeewwww! Olive was miffed at the bug exterminator’s truck left idling in front of our window. Me, too!

watching-cootie-truck olive-in-the-light olive-highwayI have quite the feverish infection going on. EVERYBODY says I am very red. A few people felt my cheeks. I am sizzling. This is one part of letting go and dying that I don’t like. How long will it take the fever or something else to kill me? I was hoping for more action and less torture. Beam me up, please….



Ack! Lots of chemtrails!


I see chemtrails all the time and I always wonder why no one else seems to notice or care. The chemtrail planes were all over the sky today, making intricate patterns. After a while, that sort of chemtrail gets fatter and fatter and knits together with other chemtrails to look sort of gauzy. Am I the only one who is always looking up? I took this pic with the Fire and got some finger in there.


It was 30’s this morning with heavy frost on cars. 50’s when I was out and about. I decided this was a perfect day to donate books to that Little Free Library I saw the other day in the rain. There were some new books in it, but I crammed it full of really good books🙂 I probably added at least 30 pounds of books. And that was my undoing…literally. Even though I only removed books from the bag slung on my power chair a few at a time, it was too much lifting for me. I can feel new rips and pains in my hernia. But….I was thinking it was a better way than most to die.




Too bad the bright reds don’t show up all that great in this picture. The cluster of trees was multicolored.


This huge tree with bright yellow leaves dominates the church parking lot.  Trees all around the city are gorgeous right now.


YES!!!!!!! I can use the orange Lumix camera again! Yesterday I got out 4 USB cords, but none of them fit in the camera. For the longest time I could not figure out where a USB would even go….then I realized since the camera is waterproof, the connection must be inside. Well….Panasonic is a PITA. They don’t use a standard connector, they have their own proprietary one. I ordered it on Amazon and UPS delivered today🙂



The next hurdle was trying to figure out how to transfer pics. When I plugged it into the chromebook, the screen said I had to reformat the SD card and would lose the pics on the card. Oh well. Sigh…. Then I took pics of my salt lamps and tried to upload them. It didn’t work. It took more reading and trying new things. I was beyond excited when it finally did work!!!! I am back in business. I guess I really need a new SD card, but that can wait.



This afternoon, my shrink was here. I always enjoy our wide-ranging conversations. He let me know that if there is ever a time I need/want someone to come be with me, call any time of the day or night and let him know. So far 2 hospice services have done paperwork, but they don’t show up or call or answer my emails. Hospice seems to be useless and not at all what I thought.


I am looking forward to taking pics outside!


Oh, after the little library, I kept going and went to Smith’s for more salt lamp bulbs. I checked out their meatball selection. For a 12 ounce package of Adells, it costs $5.49. That’s $7.42/lb. A heck of a lot more than Adells at Costco for $4.80/lb! No wonder I never bought them at Smith’s. I am spoiled from shopping at Costco. I am very grateful for the membership card given to me🙂


Next I went to Trader Joe’s. I realized that the spiced cider I was using to take Miralax twice a day was helping with the cause. This time I got a bottle of TJ’s Honey Crisp Apple Cider. I thought variety would be good🙂 It has only been 5 days since my food stamps showed up and I have spent three-quarters of the money. Isn’t it helpful that I will get $2/month more disability next year? Seems like a good time to die.


The tree across the road is getting naked fast

When I went out to get mail, the maintenance man was in the hallway. One of my neighbors was given 6 months to live. We were talking about how I might die any day now or last an indeterminate amount of time. I was getting dizzier as we talked. Suddenly the maintenance man boomed out that it looked like I was high. He said my face went from white to bright red and the right pupil took up my whole eye and was very black. I felt like I was going to lose consciousness. Weird stuff.


I didn’t even have any mail! So I went outside to take more pictures. When I got back in, this woman had just come home from work. We were laughing and joking around. She said I loved everybody and don’t even know how to be mean. Glad I have her fooled🙂 This guy came over and snuggled up to her. She said they were the new power couple and were getting married. That’s when the guy drew away and jumped up😛


glowing-800 leaf-colors flower-riot thinning-leaves last-hurrah-orange-flowers

A chance of meatballs

Ever since cooking has become more trouble than it’s worth, I have been searching for foods that are easily portioned out and quick to cook. One thing I settled on was meatballs. I have tried all kinds…such as the ones available in the freezer section at Smith’s and Trader Joe’s. At first, they were OK, but only because I had not tried the best meatballs!


Out of the dozen or so types of meatballs I have tried, Aidells Teriyaki and Pineapple chicken meatballs are the hands-down winners. 46 ounces for $13.79. That’s $4.80 per pound. Heather liked them the best, too…compared with the Coleman meatballs🙂


Second place are Coleman Italian chicken meatballs. 46 ounces for $10.89. That’s $3.79 per pound. I think that might have been a special sale price. I only bought them once.


Third place, but best deal are Costco meatballs. $16.59 for 6 pounds. That’s $2.77 per pound.


I just ate a package of Trader Joe’s turkey meatballs over 3 days time. $3.69 for a pound. I won’t buy them again. My taste buds don’t work as well as they used to, but these leave an unpleasant taste on my tongue long after they are eaten.

My top 3 choices were bought at Costco. So…how do I eat all these meatballs? The easiest meal is to nuke some meatballs with or without a bbq sauce or marinade, cut them in halves or quarters…then add salad greens, a cut up tomato and/or avocado and Ranch or Bleu cheese dressing. Another of my easy fixes is meatballs in a bowl with canned diced tomatoes, some Sriracha bbq sauce and covered in cheese. Nuke until all hot and melty. I also cook rice in the bottom of my rice cooker, then add stir fry veggies and meatballs in the top steamer. When done, serve with a sauce made from coconut cream, peanut butter, soy sauce, fish sauce and sweet chili sauce. A few times I heated meatballs and put them in a long roll with spaghetti sauce, onions and peppers….topped with cheese.

My next go-to meat has become deli roast beef from Costco or Trader Joe’s. Tastes good, already cooked, easy to add to salad or make into a sandwich. Most of the time I just roll up a  few slices and eat it plain.

I used to like rotisserie chicken. In Florida and in the Adirondacks of NY, every time I went to a town with a Sam’s Club, I bought a chicken. I don’t know if Costco has mushier chickens or if the world of rotisserie chickens has changed, but I don’t like eating mush. Meat should have some substance and resistance when biting it. Now it’s more like the consistency of old fashioned oats. Hmmmm….and most oatmeal has become wallpaper paste now that people like the instant stuff. Yuck. The dumbing down, blandification and pureeing of once good food.

As soon as I fixed up those 4 salt lamps, 2 of the good ones went bad. I cut out the blankety blanking dimmer switches used those splices that crimp and then covered all in electrical tape. Again, I am soaked in sweat. Doesn’t take much exertion these days. I think it’s mostly my brain overheating. Snicker….

Today my big foray into the world was to go to the pharmacy to get the remainder of this month’s Mestinon and a few pills of Medrol to make up what they had forgotten to order. It took maybe 3 sentences to get a broken voice and have my eye close. I suppose that is appropriate behavior when picking up Mestinon🙂 To the pharmacy and back is less than going around the block. Whoop dee doo.

I am looking forward to going for a longer ride Thursday or Friday when the weather will be nicer. I hope my body is up to the challenge. My hernia keeps finding new ways to hurt. Lately it is ripping internally up by the bottom of my lungs. That’s making it harder and harder for me to breathe. Sucks. Oh…..speaking of sucks…..have you seen the new viral video trying to sell chatbooks? I never heard of them before, and they sound like a good idea, but what’s hilarious is the mother in the video. In real life she is LDS. The link came from LDS Living this morning. I guarantee this will be 4 minutes well spent. Check out the video. If you want to read the article, it’s here. I’ve watched it 3 times so far🙂

Venturing far and wide

Big travels today. I went around the block🙂 I figured out how to take pics on the Fire and email them to the chromebook. I miss being smart enough to upload pics from the good camera. Hopefully someone can help me learn.across-street-tree

Tree across the road


On 800, facing the mountains


Flowers on 800


Locust by the back dumpster


Dividing line tree


Our back yard. See the small gap in the fence? Some miscreant cut the fencing to get on the property


Turning yellow next to still very green


Soft colors of Japanese maple


Oh, what a difference 4 or 5 years makes! Fatter, sicker, more dead.

Interesting tidbits about my world. The hard to get to Costco closest to me is the biggest in the US!

Salt Lake Costco becomes largest in the world

The air here sucks….

As Utah areas exceed ozone pollution standards, guv recommends feds step in


Near where we were in Logan Canyon area last week. This pic from around 7 PM Tuesday. Info here.

It has been snowing in the mountains for a few days. Cold here at night. But it will be nicer later this week🙂


I am not smart enough


I cannot figure out how to get pics from my good camera to the chromebook. It’s waaaaaaaay beyond my abilities nowadays. I need to find someone to help me. The Panasonic Lumix DMC-TS5 has wifi. Somehow I can make the wifi move pics from the camera to the Google Drive cloud….I think. Problem is that I cannot read the instructions very well with my blurry vision and my brain is more shot and useless than it has ever been. I think these are the directions. Is anybody smart enough to help me in baby steps?