I had to take the garbage out twice yesterday. I start out wobbly, but by the time I come back in, I am dragging my feet, tremoring all over and in tears. I have about had it with being this wimpy!
I had to go out the second time because when I went to make a stir fry for supper, I found a rotten cauliflower and bag of broccoli slaw in the crisper. Whoa! Stinky!!!
Ever since the #$%&*! pancreatitis, I can hardly stand to eat vegetables or meat. Well….I don’t feel like eating most things. Vegetables just seem to sit in my guts undigested and when I see them again later, they look about the same as they did going in. That’s pretty creepy for someone who loves vegetables as much as I always have.
I suppose I had better talk to my doc about that next week. Eating my veggies is not just a little uncomfortable, it’s awful.
When I went out to the lobby to get the mail, I went to sit on the padded bench, bounced and fell on the floor. Ugh! My butt, and the rest of me is so numb that I can’t judge where and how I am sitting. Once I fall, it’s like trying to lift up a comatose elephant. My legs are so numb that they are like dead weights. My arms are weak and shaky, my knees are stiff and hugely swollen and I am ALWAYS wicked bad dizzy.
Once I got on the floor, I stayed there maybe half an hour trying to regain my strength and composure. The people who were talking to me when it happened were all shook up and wanted to yank me up, but I said I had to do it myself by pushing once I got my strength back.
I sat there with my back to the wall, legs straight out in front of me with my skirt on. Some folks who came along later thought I was on the floor on purpose, others were ready to call the paramedics….and a crane :-p
When most of the guys were gone, I had to grab my legs and move them around. It was sooooooo not easy and soooooo painful to get on my knees! Then I grabbed the bench, got my shoulders on it, pushed myself lengthwise down it, did a push up on the bench and stood up.
Then folks were freaking out even more as my eyes rolled around in my head and I flailed my arms to remain upright. Geezum Crow! What a production! Then I had to sit on the bench another half an hour until I could walk. While on the floor and bench, I just pretended like that’s where I meant to be and carried on cheerful conversations :-p
After the mailman came, I decided I could make it that far and went to check out the freetable. Nothing. As I was coming back to my apartment, a guy started angrily yelling. It was an interesting rant. I went over to join in.
It was about the Bishop in the ward that this building geographically belongs in. That’s the Bishop who I had never met before, even though I tried to track him down for weeks at church. When I finally did meet him, he lit into me and wanted to know why I wasn’t working. No amount of trying to explain got through his self-righteousness. I had never met a Bishop like him before!!!!! He was very mean and rude. And that was back when I was really sick and had a high fever from WNV. He never told Rhett HE should be working. Sigh…
I figure God must be hoping this guy will soften his heart and learn to be more Christ like. From the sounds of things, he is only getting worse 😦 Almost everyone who lives in this building has had run ins with the Bishop and most no longer go to church. That makes me very sad 😦
We are supposed to pray for our leaders and try to overlook their human foibles, while realizing the church is true even, if there are people we don’t like or get along with. I am sure there is a purpose in all this, but it sure makes me sad to watch. The guy has alienated many good people.
There are way more people here without cars than with them. Many of the folks without transportation are home-bound or in wheelchairs. There used to be weekly sacrament offered here for that reason. This Bishop has stopped that practice. There is no earthly way for these folks to get to a church building. Sigh…I can feel my injustice meter going up. Perhaps I will talk to the stake president. I am just glad that Rhett and I were allowed to move to a different ward months ago.
After all the major rangers had left, it was just me and this little old guy who told me he was from the Philippines. I loved him instantly. He radiated goodness. He was very humble and soft spoken. During our long conversation I drew it out of him that he had been a Bishop and stake president and was a patriarch in the church. Wow! He just exuded kindness and extreme humbleness. While we were talking about priesthood blessings and patriarchal blessings, a few tears snuck out of my eyes. Next thing I know, he is dabbing at his eyes, too. That made me love him even more. I am glad we got to talk. I had said hello to him and his wife a few times, but knew nothing about him. We both lamented that we had moved to SLC hoping for an intense spiritual experience, only to find we felt that way more in obscure parts of the world. Meeting him was worth everything I had gone through 🙂
Last night Rhett’s CPAP was delivered. I am glad I warned the tech that Rhett had been acting strange lately. At one point he raised his voice and was speaking inappropriately. She looked at me with big, wide scared eyes, then kept going with her demo of the machine.
This morning a whole new Rhett got out of bed. He had decent sleep for a change. He was less confused and he was able to help himself more. WOW! Talk about getting help in the nick of time!
There is no school tomorrow so Rhett can have a long weekend of restorative sleep…..and that means ME, TOO 🙂
I had better go get ready. Soon I have to go get Rhett and take him to meet his new shrink. That should be interesting…