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I went for sacrament here in my own apartment building. We met in the community room.

The missionary couple talked and prayed with us. At one point, one of them looked around the room at all of us in tough shape and said we were all people at the end of our lives. Whoa! I intellectually know that, but it hit me hard.

I then had the opportunity to bear my testimony. I LOVE the way the Holy Spirit helps us with that! At the end, everyone gave a resounding Amen! The cynical me wondered if it was because they were so glad I stopped. The more tender part of me knew it was because we connected spiritually.

It was good to have that time in the middle of being sick. The reason for my increased night sweats is that I have an infection going on inside me. My temp is high whenever my motrin wears down. My cough sounds worse and my chest feels raw inside. I am wicked bad dizzy and SOB. It seems like torture to wait until Tuesday for the doc appointment.

I have been obsessing. I feel like I need that neurological work up YESTERDAY! I am frightened that the neuro never did tests or even talked about my peripheral neuropathy. It should not be progressing this fast!!! I joined PN groups to learn more and nobody else’s experience sounds like mine.

Several people have written to me to say it sounds more like MS. Last year at this time, the Arizona neuro thought I might have MS. Over and over and over docs have wondered if I have MS.

The longer I live and go through all I do, the more I am convinced I have my very own autoimmune disease made up of components from all of them. I have ALWAYS thought my body went down some sort of list, trying a little of this and a lot of that. It’s infuriating as I just want help to feel better.

I hope Rhett is safely in bed and asleep for awhile!! I fed him supper and went back to bed. He came in an hour later to tell me he wanted a hot fudge sundae. It was sooooo hard to wake up! Then about 2 hours later I wake up to WENDY!!!!! WENDY!!!! I thought maybe the house was on fire. He couldn’t get his CPAP to work. Sigh…

I woke up all sweaty and hot, with my heart going a zillion beats a minute. It feels good to be back in front of the fan….and alone in the quiet darkness….

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