Oh, geeze! Is that an infection?

My belly has been swollen up all week…and it hurts weird. Figures I didn’t take these pictures until late on Friday 😦 I kept trying to see the raw part in the mirror and finally remembered to just take pictures. Not only are the red bumps redder, but there are two places that look yellow, like maybe an infection? I have had to change the gauze more often again because it has been sopping wet with yellow fluid….and it smells different. Oh, gross! It’s a miracle I am still alive. This thing sure has been infected enough times! I sure wish it would heal shut. What do you think?

Snicker…

Olive was all comfy on the couch when I got up.

I took the camera in the bathroom. Olive was annoyed that I was paying attention to the camera instead of her.

The more I ignored her, the more she stared.

Finally she got disgusted with me and laid down.

Olive was very excited to watch the water.

 

 

 

Olive being cute

She was watching TV again 🙂

Darn! I tried to take her pic. She was on her back, 4 feet in the air. Usually when she sees a flash, she jumps. I got a blur :-p

I hardly ever got to be alone in the bathroom this month

Funny how whenever I was in the bathroom, either Heather or Fletcher needed to talk to me or show me something. Now there’s Olive. She comes running when she hears me going into the bathroom. She knows I am a captive audience. Olive rubs up against me, pets herself with my hands, meows super loud, then watches the water disappear and reappear. I was so naive to think when Heather moved away that the bathroom would become a quiet, peaceful place! Actually, it’s pretty amusing to be so popular :-p

I went out to get my mail and started for DI. A woman was looking for jumper cables. I went back and got her my booster box. It was very difficult to stand up and hook up her car. I was soooooo out of breath and weak 😦 A guy that REALLY bugs me was with her. He is always bragging about how wealthy he is and about all the Air Force bases he was the head of. I think he is full of hot air and BS. He kept arguing with me about one thing after another. Today solidified the opinion I have had about him ever since I moved in. He is an idiot! I just kept smiling and trying my darnedest to be polite. He said everything I was doing was wrong. I was ready to whack him with the booster! The woman’s car started right up, first try. I have plenty of experience, unlike the peanut gallery.

I think the solvents used today to clean glue off the floor planking was the worst yet. Not only did it hurt to breathe, I think it made me unable to suffer fools. Usually I just ignore the craziest of the residents.

I finally did get to go over to DI. No blenders. It sure looks like donations are way down. I need to go to the DI in Sugar House or over at Welfare Square. The downtown Deseret Industries is b o r i n g!

The benches (low mountains) and mountain peaks were bright white with snow. Weather forecasts said up to 3 feet of snow in the mountains. This has been a weird storm in the valley. When I went to bed last night, it was raining hard. When I woke up this morning there was a dusting of snow. Then it rained and warmed up. At 7:30 PM it’s 37 degrees.

Scary things happened in Utah today. Some guy killed one cop and last I heard, a second cop was in surgery.

Huh. I don’t even remember going to bed Thursday night. I wasn’t feeling well. Next thing I know, it’s 5 AM Friday. That was weird.

This morning Olive did a new trick. She watched the toilet fill back up with water and kept sticking her paw in the water while meowing like a nut case. Once water stops moving, it doesn’t thrill her anymore. This morning is also the first time I have seen her leap from ottoman to couch and couch to windowsill. Before, she would walk the long way around.

I got a call yesterday for an appointment to see a neuro ophthalmologist. The neurologist wants my MG eyes treated. I explained that I once had prism glasses for the double vision, but the DV shifted and then the glasses no longer worked. Not sure why they want to try again. I know my DV is always moving from side to side and up and down. I do remember how miraculous it was to see “normal” for awhile! I was a lot less dizzy. Maybe technology has improved?

Again, my writing seems OK, but my brain feels like it’s not working right. I wonder what today will bring?

Mental melt down day

No night sweats. No relief. Then the workers showed up very early this morning. The fumes hit me by 7. Most of us are feeling like prisoners. No elevator today. And now, no front door.

I threaded through the workers and took my garbage outside to the dumpster. I sat in my power chair, out in the cold and talked to a few people. We are used to having lots of inside common spaces.

When I tried to come in, the manager asked if I could use the emergency exit on my end of the building. I showed him how difficult it is to reach the laser that reads our key fobs that open the front door. I asked if the box could be extended further out. With the things that hold my feet in my power chair hitting the wall, it’s about two feet longer than my reach to swipe the fob. THEN, it takes major maneuvering to get through the second door. So….I turn around and go back outside and to the emergency exit. By that time a rain/snow mix was coming down hard.

It was physically impossible for me to both open the emergency door AND get through it. There is no outside handle. Luckily the manager came down the hallway to let another chair user out, so he let me in. I couldn’t fit because there was a 55 gallon drum restricting the width of the hallway. I burst into tears.

The manager caught up with me as I was unlocking my apartment door. He told me it was OK to cry :-p I said that being disabled sucked!!!!! Stupid asthma and sickness from all the chemicals in the air, plus all the physical barriers. To top it off, the upstairs neighbor who stomps so hard that things fall in my apartment, is home today. He said he knew, and he had once again told her to stop it.

At that moment I felt sooooooo trapped and forlorn! I suppose you would have to be me to understand. I am still crying hours later, I was already extra sick and weak before the remodeling nightmare started. Not happy right now.

I have been doubling my water consumption, hoping it would mitigate the poison in the air. I also had the windows open most of the day. I was really surprised to find the temperature went up to 50 today. It was sure cold before noon!

This time I was home when my pharmacy delivery came. Poor guy. I opened the door and almost fell on him. I was soooo dizzy! Then I realized it was the same guy who tried to catch me last time. He was again all worried and ready to call. 911. I told him not to worry…I had been dizzy like this for days. He seriously wanted to call somebody. Later I realized DUH! All the chemicals when I open the door only makes me worse.

Geeze! Just now my lungs seized up while trying to inhale. I quick opened my windows back up. My wing is totally blocked off 😮

One of my newest neighbors from the other end of the hall came out, too. She says she also has COPD like me and is struggling to breathe. It must be the white stuff they are putting down.

The carpet is being replaced by what management calls “planking”. It’s very thin and bendy. Must be something plastic-y. I predict even more slip and falls.

My ears ache and my gums are numb. VERY tired of feeling like crap.

Pictures

I went out to the lobby to take pics. It stinks! After the scraping, they filled in spots on the floor in an effort to make it more level. After a minute out there, I started tremoring. I rested my hand on the walker, but it still came out blurry.

My lungs wish I had never opened the door! I waited until after 10 PM to get the mail. There was an envelope with pictures. I took pictures of some of the pictures.

This is my sister and I at my cabin in East Dorset, Vermont in the 1980’s. Dog Raku. There are chickens sneaking in the door.

This is me at 21 years old. I didn’t even remember the fluffy haircut :-p I have never dyed my hair, but it sure has changed colors a lot!

Heather must be somewhere between 1 and 2 years old.

My 4th birthday party.

I don’t know how I ever talked my grandmother into letting me borrow her fur. Is this fox? I remember she had fox, mink and Mouton lamb.

No clue how old I am in this one.

Me, Heather and Peter in a May 1994 newspaper article about CSA farms in Vermont.

Geeze, I am really allergic to the old newspaper. I will have to go hide it in a drawer. I wish I wasn’t allergic to everything!

Ugh…me very heavy in 2005. Stupid prednisone and congestive heart failure!!!!

A very tired Kalamata Olive.

People can be frustrating!

I have been corresponding all day with a man who thinks he is being helpful to handicapped folks, but is probably causing at least as much distress as help. I tried to explain ADA laws and that many handicaps are invisible. He keeps insisting that his vigilante justice is OK. Argghhhhh!!!!!

The number one thing is to remember the Golden Rule. None of us can truly understand another person’s reality. Very few people understand ADA laws…that’s Americans with Disabilities Act. I don’t know and understand it all, either. I had to learn parts along the way in order to protect myself. Just don’t elect yourself to be judge and jury about parking spots and service animals. If you feel someone is not who they portray themselves to be or don’t have the right credentials, quietly and calmly find a manager or the police and let them sort things out. This is definitely in the top 10 nightmares for disabled people out in public. Sigh…

I have had a tough day. The carpet guys spent all day scraping sticky foam padding off the cement sub-floor out in the lobby. Then tonight they used some sort of solvent. My gums got numb, my lymphs swelled up and I got a creepy headache. Sooo…I have both windows wide open, plus the bathroom and kitchen exhaust fans on full blast. Yuck.

Our air is about to get cleaner. Rain and snow are on the way. We had lots and lots of snow free days this winter. It was nice for cruising the sidewalks. Too bad the choice is for clean air OR clean sidewalks. I would like them both together.

I sure hope I have night sweats again. My belly is just as swollen tonight, as are the joints all over my body. My chest hurts like crazy from breathing issues. You know I don’t feel well when I start daydreaming about asking for a prescription of prednisone.

Olive says no more flashing lights!

Wow!

That was amazing! Last night I had the sort of night sweats that soak me, my hair, the bed and the quilt. And I mean SOAK! I woke up feeling like a new person 🙂 All of me can move better. Even the feverishness that has been with me for days is diminished. These are my good, old-fashioned night sweats that make me feel soooo much better! Very few people, if they felt the way I do now, would be happy about it. I am still feeling sick and in pain, but nothing like yesterday. I am back to loving night sweats 🙂

Olive has been pretty funny over night. Once when I got up to pee, she stood on the toilet seat and excitedly watched the water when I flushed. She was meowing up a storm. I was afraid she was thirsty and didn’t like what was in her water bowl, so I put in new water. That wasn’t it. She just likes watching the moving water in the toilet!

Then when I sat in my chair and was taking my morning meds, Olive was on the ottoman, purring, rubbing up against me and talking her head off. As I was swallowing my pills, she turned in circles like a black blur. She was chasing her tail at a million miles an hour!

What a morning!

Stupid tears!

At 6:30 PM, my all-over pain was so bad that I went to bed. Lying down hurt worse than sitting up 😦 The hernia has never been so huge. The part I ripped from coughing is wicked tender. My spleen is humongous. I am very, very short of breath. I am wondering if it’s time to go to the ER? As usual, I sure don’t want to go! I was in bed, trying to get comfortable and wondering which doctor I should be calling. I am in so much pain and feel so overwhelmed that I couldn’t stop crying. That makes the CPAP mask sputter. Then the stomper came home in a rage. Crap! I don’t have enough energy or air to cry like this. I gave up and am back in my chair. It doesn’t feel all that comfy right now.

I believe my breathing problem is a combo of asthma from the bad air, swelling of my abdomen and MG weakness. When I start to panic, it’s even harder to breathe 😦 Sucks to be me right now.

The air is thick today

Yucky! The air looks thick enough to slice and dice. I was rudely awoken at 6:30 AM when the stomper was doing her thing. Luckily she was quieter for a few days. Last night and this morning she is back to her noisy, grouchy self. Sigh….

Olive is enjoying the warmth between my feet and on the shawl. I turned off the heat about 24 hours ago, so it’s chilly in here by cat standards. The window has been open for days. Looks like today I will have to shut it to keep out the smog. My eyes are stinging and I can’t stop sneezing.

CNN has a news story about food stamps going down again. They say “The average monthly benefit was $134 per person in October.” How come I only get $90? My monthly income after rent is $216. That has to pay for all my worldly needs and wants. Are most people on food stamps really lower income than me? Yikes!

Here’s my breakfast. Boiled potatoes that I then fried. Scrambled with eggs, cheese and ham. I got a carton of 18 Eggland’s Best eggs for $1.99 because someone broke an egg on the outside of the container. I got a pound of deli smoked ham that was outdated, so the store froze it and sold it for $1.99. Yummy 🙂

I think I will live it up later today by going to DI to see if there are any interesting books or a blender.

I feel very yucky. Definitely not enough sleep. All the joints in my hands hurt. Kinda hard to ignore. I need to find something to do that helps me forget how miserable I am.

Oh…bah, humbug! I went over to DI. Some of the books I looked at on Saturday were in the same position I left them in. The shelves are still pretty bare. No blenders. Here at the apartment building, the carpets are being pulled up in the lobby. There is no place to sit and visit. I feel very cooped up today! My guts hurt. I guess I will just sit here like a lump and pout. Boo hiss….