I have had heaps of belly pain today. It pretty much goes from the front of me, through the back of me, near my belly button. It has been increasing in pain for a few days. At times it is a mind boggling sharp pain. I have cried buckets over it.

My ears STILL ache, my chest has elephants sitting on it and my neck and head have more than their fair share of swollen lymphs. What woke me up from my nap was my tongue filling my mouth. It’s really, really sore and swollen.

I have tried to read scriptures, cookbooks and blogs. I have cleaned, but mostly I have sat here like a lump. I have done all sorts of mental and physical things to take my mind off of feeling yucky. It doesn’t work. Even when I was under anesthesia, I remember telling the doctor and nurses that I hurt….several times.

Geeze…midnight and the stomper burst through her door. I thought it had been too quiet upstairs. As she stomped into her bedroom, there was a crash in mine. I figured she had scared the cat, but Olive was on the couch. She had stomped so hard that a suitcase on the top shelf of my bedroom closet fell to the floor! I am glad I was awake. If I had been asleep, it would have scared the heck out of me!

I think I got a new neighbor. Saturday I took the garbage out and there were a bunch of guys moving things from a pick-up to the apartment that Lee lived in. I am still in shock that she is dead. I hope the new person is nice, quiet, doesn’t smoke or drink and is easy to have around. A couple of doors down from me is a heavy drinker and smoker. His drunk buddy knocked on my door instead of his late tonight. Scared the beejeepers out of me. The hallway past my door is a quagmire of smoke. No wonder it’s a hallway of death and sickness 😦

I have 4 salt lamps in the living room, 2 in the bedroom and one in the bathroom. I think I will save money each month toward buying more. They make a big difference in air quality.

I also like the way they look at night. I wish I could charge each smoker a monthly fee for polluting my air!

Actually I wish the stomper, the mean people, the drunks, the smokers, etc had to face the consequences of their actions….you know….for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Can you tell I am tired of being imposed on tonight??? The sicker I get, the grouchier I feel 😦

Well, it’s 6 AM and the stomper leapt off the couch and started stomping. I miss sleep. Now that I am awake I am very sick to my stomach. I had been dreaming that I was still cooking for a living and it made me so queasy that I wanted to quit. I also dreamed about people that used to be in my life that drank too much. I have never liked being around people who get drunk or tipsy. I have never met a single person who had their life improved by alcohol. I have seen enough for this lifetime 😦 People who drink, who have been in my life, ultimately cannot be trusted. Too much pain to go there again.

One thing I love about being LDS is the Word of Wisdom. It eliminates many substances that bother me and encourages things I would rather embrace. People have to be following the WoW to be baptized, but some fall away from those principles, yet still attend church regularly. The church isn’t full of perfect people, it’s full of those of us trying to be better….and trying, and trying and trying…. The secret is to get up each time we fall and try again.


Living in the apartments in Arizona and here in Salt Lake City really reinforces the importance of keeping covenants. The people here who strive to follow the WoW and go to church often are very different from the ones who don’t. The ones who drift are, without exception, leading unhappy lives.

I am glad I got to know the maintenance man in Arizona. I often think about the things he told me. He had been there something like 17 years. He watched which people were happier and stayed alive longer. He was very against prescription drugs. Me, too! Each time I give in and take things that docs want me to take that aren’t absolutely necessary, I regret it big time. For the most part, I would rather be in pain than take narcotics. “Popular” meds like Metformin, Neurontin and Cymbalta did me more harm than good. It’s a slippery slope to take things that don’t truly make me better. Many pharmaceuticals make the company’s coffers feel better than the pills make patient’s bodies feel. A lot of healthcare is a boondoggle to keep hospitals, doctors and big pharma in business, not make people better.

Most of the people here are diabetic. Most are over 60 years old. It’s ironic that the food bank boxes contain mostly carbs for the older folks. This month their box had oatmeal, pasta, juice, bread and boxed milk. The folks who keep and eat what they get are making their blood sugar worse. Many people put their carbs on the free table. It’s all such a dumb waste! Many systems are set up to benefit somebody, but healthcare and food boxes are not set up to benefit their consumers.

There has been a lot of talk about the 50th anniversary of the War on Poverty. From my perspective, the biggest failure is that it wasn’t really meant to make Joe Blow’s life better. It’s just a way to transfer money from government to big business, by saying it’s for the benefit of Joe Blow. What a bunch of BS! What I truly want and need is not addressed. War is pretty much the same. It uses lots of money to pay for the military industrial complex. The wars the US are fighting are NOT making the world a better place. If that amount of money was spent on positive things, wow, it would be a very different world.

Satan and the robbers are loosed here on earth. These are the latter days.

I was miserable all morning and arguing with myself whether I should stay home or go to church…even after I had left the building. It seemed a shame to waste a good sidewalk day, so I went. Only a few tears snuck out. I was in tons of pain the whole time…but I did it! 🙂 I NEED to take sacrament and worship God and thank Jesus and talk to people. The ride home was grueling because I felt so lousy. Got in my apartment, ripped off my clothes and there was a knock at my door. Dang. Put my clothes back on and visited for half an hour.

Well, my body decided to get the chills and refuses to warm up no matter how many clothes I layer on or how high the thermostat is. I can’t think of any part of me that doesn’t hurt A LOT!!!!!!! I wish just being alive wasn’t cause for so much pain and misery. Sigh…

Soooooo cold! There is no good reason for these chills, is there? If I have an infection, at some point I will get as unbearably hot as I am unbearably cold right now. Brrrr…I am covered and smothered in goose bumps….