I just got out of the ER at 4 AM. I have to wait until 5:28 when TRAX starts up again so I can go home. The ER offered me a wheelchair accessible van ride, but not until business hours. So, I am sitting outside watching a lone worker power wash the hospital TRAX station.

I saw a lot of doctors, nurses and EMT’s! I hope I can get this all straight. When the surgeon’s office called, she told me to go to the ER if the pain got worse. I believed her.

We started off with blood tests. Then I had to pee in a cup. The WHOLE time I was there, my BP, heart rate and oxygen saturation kept going too high or low. There were alarms and incessant beeping.

A surgeon came in. He did his best to explain what’s going on. He says it’s really worrisome that the second fistula developed so quickly and now air is going through my bladder. I need to have surgery as soon as possible, BUT, right now is too soon because my intestines are swollen and still healing from the infection. At the rate fistulas are developing, I could end up with more before my intestines heal. He says they are such a mess now that surgery would create even more holes and fistulas than will happen by waiting. He says basically I am between a rock and a hard place. All 4 surgeons that were consulted agree.

All sorts of docs wanted to put me on narcotics for pain. I said no way. They want me to go to a pain clinic to find something that works.

When I cried because I was so mad and frustrated about my guts, a social worker was sent in. He was the highlight of the whole thing. We talked an hour. It was good to have a kind person going over the fact that all choices sucked. Some just sucked less than others. No matter what happens, I am going to have another very long recuperation time and I am going to be even more disabled. He asked if I was interested in counseling. I said sure…I wanted someone as fun and interesting as my Adirondack shrink. He gave me numbers to call.

The last ER doc seemed a bit sadistic. He told the nurse I needed to eat these crackers and drink 2 things of apple juice. She put it in front of me and tears started to roll down my face. Just looking at food made me sick. Smelling it was revolting. I was told the docs needed to see how I did. I commenced sobbing. When the next doc came in, he said I didn’t have to eat or drink.

This time I was smart enough to ask for copies of blood tests. I will look at them later. Now that it’s after 5 AM,
the sky is getting lighter and birds are singing.

I am sure I left out things. It’s been a long day and night and now day.

Cool! The lights came on and the loudspeaker announced the next train. I had better get going!

So glad to see and be on the train!!!