At the very last minute, I decided I was strong enough to go to FNB. I was instantly sorry, but kept going. I was supposed to be second in line to get food, but guess who jumped the line? If she asked, I would tell her she could get in front of me. People like her make me crazy😬 All one can do is shake their head.

It took quite a while to get from the front door to my apartment when I got home. Every time I got a few feet, somebody else came along and wanted to talk. Finally I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom. It was yesterday all over again.

Then I was weak and shaking. I could barely see through the blur. I had enough time to watch Dr Phil and it was time for my counseling appointment. I love talking to that guy 😊 I showed him my new trick of holding my neck up or putting my head back as far as possible, and then my voice worked a few seconds. He seemed surprised and impressed. Me, too! My voice sounds soooooooo good! But then I choke. I just don’t have enough air to talk.

I like when my counselor gets mad on my behalf. He is amazed at what has happened to me medically. He thinks I have been done wrong in a big way. Me, too.

I have a hard time wrangling my phone correctly. It had a lot to do with weakness and muscle spasms, but also my missing brain cells. I can’t tell you how many times I accidentally delete emails in the middle of reading them. When my cellphone speed is throttled, I can’t even open voicemails. Then tonight I was shaking so hard that I dropped the phone. Picked it up and the voicemail had vaporized!

It can take me hours to write a few sentences. My finger bends at unnatural angles and hits the wrong virtual keys. Sometimes I just can’t think well enough to make sense. I find new ways to be incompetent daily 😳

Wednesday is apartment inspection day. We got long lists of things that must be clean. Can you imagine being as weak as me and trying to clean? It took me hours to vacuum at 5 minutes or less per try. I had to sit down and gasp for air after moving each piece of furniture. My entire body is one big twitch. And it hurts!!!! Good thing my apartment was basically clean to begin with. I still have to mop. That’s harder than anything, even with my cool swivel mop with different terry cloth pads. I usually mop at least weekly, but never everywhere at once! I am sure my apartment would pass without lifting a finger. I guess I am suffering from pride.

It’s an hour until I am supposed to take Mestinon, but I am choking now. I did waaaaaay too much today after being paralyzed yesterday! Dang, I am weak.

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