The INFJ personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As Diplomats (NF), they have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is the accompanying Judging (J) trait – INFJs are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact.  Test

Heather posted on Facebook that she is an INTJ. I did the test and am an INFJ. I have gone back and forth between the two…..switching the focus from thinking to feeling the older I got. Heck, I think I could be any of the personalities, depending on what day I took the test.  I thought this description of me on this site was fairly accurate.  

I have been trying to figure out my foot. After lots of Googling and reading through similar stories, my best guess is that it’s tendonitis/bursitis. Makes sense. The trochanteric bursitis was on that side. It hurts in a way that doesn’t make logical sense at first blush. Most people are mystified when they get similar pain. The tendonitis/bursitis stuff all over me is related to gout and arthritis. I am now taking tart cherry capsules on a regular basis. I need to eat more real cherries, too. Mmmmmmmmmm 🙂

Nifty! I just got an email saying that LDS folks can get free access to American Ancestors. That should help since it seems to specialize in the Northeast. Cool 🙂 More things to make my head explode. I wish my brain would just WORK!

Today has been the most obnoxiously dizzy day yet. I think the bad stuff not helped as much by IVIg is from WNV. My left eye keeps dripping tears, the dizziness will NOT go away and I still have all sorts of oddball symptoms all over me from ever since I got WNV. Please…..wear mosquito repellent! It’s another one of those bad things that you at least have some control over. It never occurred to me to have repellent with me that day. No mosquitoes had been around me in Utah….even up that same canyon while I was camping.

It has been a few hours since I last wrote. The dizziness is sooooooooo much worse! 😦 I can barely function. I just looked at myself in the mirror. Both eyelids are drooped, but on my right side, the whole eyebrow is majorly drooped. I feel like the inside of my head is twitching and quivering. And speaking of quivering. My legs did it all night long. It’s the old quiver/buzz/tingle/twitch. Feels like I am actually in an earthquake. When I go from comfy chair to the bathroom and back, lots of autonomic things are going wrong. I cannot say enough how much that sucks 😦 My core muscles are doing well. And today, my foot doesn’t hurt at all….at least not yet. It’s the dizziness, SOB, rapid heartbeat and strange quiveryness that are horrid. Also my guts are acting up.

You know what’s really sick?….medical practice. I went through years of hell getting the RA then lupus, then all that other stuff until it was changed to the MCTD diagnosis. In Montana, the docs that said I had RA gave me gold shots. In later years, I had bad things happen to various organs because of lupus and had to take high doses of prednisone to make it better. One doc would say I had one thing and the next doc would say I had something else. Then I went to the rheumatologist in Tampa, Florida who said he used to take care of top government and armed services people in Washington, DC, I thought I had hit the jackpot. For years docs argued back and forth whether I had UCTD or MCTD. The Florida rheumatologist did blood tests and said it was definitively MCTD. Of course that wasn’t the end. The Adirondack neuro agreed on that diagnosis. I thought he was very smart and knew his stuff. The guy that replaced him also agreed and gave me steroid shots in the joints.

Then I moved to Utah. At first the rheumatologist said I had MCTD because she read the records from past rheumies. She prescribed Plaquenil and was going to help me feel better. My CRP and ESR are very high. That points to MCTD. She did new blood tests and I had zero antibodies to what she tested me for. Then she and my internist decided my rheumatalogical problems had “burned out”. Even though my antibodies were missing, I still had all the symptoms. The eye doc confirmed Sjogren’s by looking at my eyes and doing the Schirmer’s test.

While in the hospital for IVIg, the hospitalist kept saying he was worried about my butterfly rash. I decided since I had finally proved to Utah that I have MG made better by IVIg, I had better start addressing my MCTD. I wrote a letter to the rheumatologist saying I needed to have her write down what she knows and believes about me so I can move on with her or somewhere else. I just got a message from someone with an MA after their name. It says “Dr. ***** has checked for MCTD twice which came back negative. You do not have this diagnosis or evidence of SLE.” 

I want to scream! All those years and I end up in Utah with everything undiagnosed. I just proved they were idiots about MG. Now I have to either get a real diagnosis for my rheumatological stuff or fight to be again treated for MCTD. This is maddening! I don’t want to be sick at all! As long as I am stuck being sick, I want to get better. I don’t give a rat’s ass what it’s called…..just make it go away!!!!! If I wasn’t already crazy, I am about to go there 😦 What the **** is going on in Utah? Is it me? Is it them? Sooooooo tired of it all! That email really set me off.

It was the dermatologist who worried more about my voice than any other doc. It was the surgeon who could see I had MG and tried to get me help. Why are my best advocates in some other field? My internist was supportive of MCTD and MG, but he was ridiculed and pressured by other docs. I don’t like being in the middle, yanked back and forth! Why does it matter so much who is right and who gets credit or ridicule for the diagnosis? This isn’t an ego game, this is my life. And my life sucks medically.

I spent a significant part of the day as a go-between for the disability law center and my neuro’s office. Many emails back and forth without much action. All that’s needed is a note from the neuro that my diagnosis is MG and he thinks I need IVIg to treat it. How hard can that be? He already prescribed IVIg for my MG and the insurance company denied it. Nobody wants to be pinned down. Everybody is afraid of lawsuits. Supposedly the doc will write the letter ASAP. I will believe it when I see it.

EVERYTHING is a hassle! I feel like a rag doll being fought over by two dogs.

Now it’s a couple hours later, again. I just went for an hour with a very hot and flushed face. Now my face and hands are ghostly white. I am not even going to guess what’s going on. The dizziness is much better, though 🙂

I wanted to go out and run a few errands. At the minimum, I had planned to take out garbage and recycling. I have almost no energy. I can’t do anything. Sigh….