Utah is killing me….and that’s exactly what they want. By withholding IVIg, all of my autoimmune problems are much worse. My hearing in front of the judge, for IVIg was July 27th. It’s now September 8th. Still no ruling.

There isn’t much left of me but pain. Mostly I sit in my chair, unable to even think or breathe without difficulty. I hate the fever and chills part. It just wipes me out. I sit here pickling in vinegar sweat and depression. The bastards won. They got me good and depressed.

Here it is a couple or more weeks since the high fevers started and there has still been no CT scan. No report on the belly swab. No antibiotics. I tried calling the office of my GP & GYN. After 15 minutes on hold, I gave up. I guess that is today’s theme: I give up. I tried to rally. I got the doc’s office on the phone late this afternoon. The CT has not been authorized by my insurance company. Of course they are playing games! I asked about the results for my belly swab. It’s office policy not to tell me over the phone. Gee, thanks. One of the docs in the office suddenly up and quit the last week or so. Appointments can’t be had for 3 weeks, since the other docs are trying to take up the slack. I asked for a call back. It’s after 5 PM. Sigh….

I was just sitting here crying, wondering what to do next. There was a knock at the door. I thought maybe it was the woman coming to do laundry a week late. Ha! It was the mailman with a box. Some nice person bought these things that were on my Amazon wish list. I have no idea who to thank….but thank you! I ran out of garlic capsules. They had been helping my WNV. I have one more dose of cherry juice for gout, for tonight and it was going to be gone. Trader Joe’s has run out of tart cherry juice and I was wondering what to do. I love these cat litter sifters! The last one got stepped on by a guest. Very glad to have a new one! Thank you mystery gift giver. Good timing to restore some of my faith in human beings.

I think about things and beings I am thankful for. I want the positive to overcome the negative. But I am very depressed right now. Being this sick feels like more than I can handle. I just want all the bad stuff to go away! Yup, I need to work on my attitude. Hey! Another good thing is that after unplugging and rebooting numerous times, the modem works. I think Comcast just told me it was the modem’s fault for the heck of it. Now that the road construction is no longer out front, the internet works….at least for now.

I was in so much pain that I forgot the pics I have taken lately. On Sunday the sky was full of chemtrail x’s, then later, parallel lines. I see it often, I just happened to pick up the camera this time. I wish you could see the whole sky. All x’s, then all lines.

Olive is often stationed at one window or the other….watching and guarding.


It’s a good thing I have Olive. If I do nothing else in life, I need to be here to pet her, talk to her, feed and water her….and sift cat litter. See….I am a useful human being.