But if I can still write, how bad can I be? Last night I needed to make some decisions. I quickly realized I just plain couldn’t. My ability to think was compromised. Then later, I tried to answer questions on a support group, and I could not form thoughts. I felt like my brain was stuck in clouds of cotton candy. It was hard to see. I went to bed.

I fell asleep and woke up hours later. I remember nothing. At first I had no idea where I was or who I was. I got scared. At least I knew I should know those things.

I knew to feed the cat because she got on the counter and meowed. When I opened the fridge, I knew to take my morning meds. It was agonizing to think through each step of everything I did. The hardest was looking under the sink. I did not know which container was for garbage.

This knowing/not knowing is exactly what happened to me during strokes in the past. But this time I don’t feel like I had a stroke. I did not go numb down the middle. I think not being able to breathe well has taken a toll. My brain feels messed up. Both my brain and my body are oh, so slow. I needed to write this to assure myself that I still can. I talked to the cat to make sure I can talk.

Sitting in my chair, I have the feeling that I am falling. My vision keeps getting brighter, then darker. I feel really sick to my stomach. Dizzy. What the heck is going on? I think I will try going back to bed.

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