One of those days I feel miserable, both mentally and physically. I have either been crying or on the verge of tears the whole day. I woke up at 5 AM, took meds and went back to bed at 5:30 to for another 3 hours, and then stumbled into the shower. The night sweats have been relentless…I wake up many times a night, soaking wet. I thought I had one more nightgown left. No 😦 So, I am wearing a t-shirt and jammie bottoms. Yesterday I slept through the MoW delivery and today I did not bother to put real clothes on for the volunteer. I stayed in my jammies. Heck, then I threw my Mexican poncho over my head and took out the garbage in jammies and slippers. I just don’t care.

Today’s meal looked and smelled like crap. I put it directly in the freezer. I do not want to eat it. I don’t even want to take its picture. The menu says beef peppers and onions over brown rice, seasoned carrots, romaine spinach salad and peaches. I did not see any onions or peppers. It was rice on top of a franken-foods beef patty. The carrots and peaches had been poured right out of a bag and/or can. The salad looked like the last one. At least it was back to regular milk! I really hate Meals on Wheels, the pure crap they deliver and the imposition of volunteers that might show up any time within a several hour window. It seems like I am giving up way more than I am getting. If I still feel this way after Monday’s delivery, I am going to tell them where they can stick their meals.

break

This morning I made a good breakfast of 2 eggs .58, Mexican squash .23 , onion .50, tomato free and the leftovers from yesterday’s sausage gravy over the top (around $1.50)…..for a total of $2.81. I enjoyed it 🙂 My food looks a zillion times better than what MoW calls food. I have been adding to a page daily about what I get for my Meals on Wheels lunch. It’s nothing you have not seen on my blog, but it’s all in one place. If you want to be grossed out, go to that page and quickly scroll down through the pictures. If they make you hungry, I would love to hear about it…and why!

When I came back in from dumping garbage and recycling, the manager yelled after me that I needed to smile or be happy or something like that. Only partially under my breath, I said go f*** yourself. That’s very uncharacteristic of me. I hate this place 😦 I hate how it’s run and I hate the way the manager mocks me on a regular basis. Are you sensing a theme today?

One of the times I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, I looked out and watched some strange woman get out of a strange car and wobble drunkenly across the parking lot…near my window. When the driver saw me watching, they sped off. Hardly a day/night goes by without creepy people out in the parking lot. They don’t live here and most of the time they are not visitors, either….just criminals. Sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After I had a good cry, I felt better mentally, but I feel sicker, sorer, tireder physically. I am about to go snooze at 5:30 PM.

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