Today feels a lot like yesterday. Then gravity got turned up and my eye slammed shut. It seems like I take the same sequence of pics each time. I think I am smiling, I try harder and it looks like a grimace. I wonder what I would think of me if I were a stranger on the street looking at me?

It’s no wonder I cannot see well! Not much of my eye is exposed so I can see out from under the lids. Here’s my best myasthenia gravis smile 🙂

dorkylook

What an intersting day. Lots of high clouds of every color and shape. A bit of blue, a bit of sun. Temps are in the high 60’s. Leaves are blocking out the remaining tree blossoms. Each day the forsythia has turned greener with leaves and the trees with pink blossoms have red leaves.

I keep filling up my blog. All those tree and flower pics take up space. I suppose I will erase more of the old ones. One of these days, I will switch to a new blog. As I was sitting here feeling yucky, watching the world pass by my window, I was thinking about my purpose in life. I don’t know what it is at this stage of my life. If I did not write a blog, hardly anyone would even know I exist.

I am watching a PBS show about autism. It was called Autism: Coming of Age. It gave me the same old frustrations I feel about my own life. Many of the points made about support for people with autism are the same ones that should be made for other disabilities. Funny how folks can look at good looking young adults with autism and feel of course they need lots of support for housing, jobs and navigating the world! Well, me, too. I have wasted a lot of years fighting the system, rather than being boosted up by it. The very adversarial system of forced poverty, crummy health care, no coordination of services, lack of transportation and lack of personalized help and support keeps everyone with mental and physical limitations at a disadvantage. There has got to be a better way. It has always been that who you know and how well informed a person is about available help, determines quality of life. I was tied into things in Vermont and got opportunities most people didn’t. Now I am disconnected and alone. Sucks.

I wish my old thoughts and feelings about Utah were not tainted by what I know after living here. I used to like camping in this state. I would love to visit the national and state parks, national forests, BLM and other camping spots again someday. I still think about the times I randomly ran into Heather near Moab, while out driving on a dirt road…and another time in a small town many miles south of here. That was pretty cool 🙂

All of the sudden, 26 people came to my blog from Facebook. If you are one of them, who put up the link? What was it about? You have my curiosity piqued.

Oh….and the extra generic Zyrtec? Very bad idea! My Sjogren’s is not amused. Eyes are dry, nose is dry, throat keeps sticking from being so dry, and worst of all are my guts. The doc who first told me to take Miralax twice a day said that the dryness in my intestines from Sjogren’s made them work even less. Geeze! Can I ever feel it! 😦 I drank a lot today and had a whole bowl of watermelon to both plump my intestines up and help everything along. It seems each time a doc prescribes something, I regret it. No more doubles or quadruples! One Zyrtec is good. My hernia hurts like crazy. Sigh….

SundayBrunch

This is today’s meal so far. Sunday brunch. One half white onion .16, 3 mushrooms .59, Mexican squash .43, 2 eggs .51, 2 hash browns .38, avocado .50, queso fresco .50 then a fresh salsa made of tomatoes, white onion, cilantro and lime .74 for a total of $3.81. I found a file with other random meals I never posted…..

dinner

2 tomatoes, avocado, bacon bits, mayo @$1.50

steamedbuns

2 steamed bbq pork buns, sweet chili sauce @$1.60

salmonmeal

salmon, mixed veggies, avocado, rice @$1.50

Friday I saw one of the women who deliver Meals on Wheels. Wow. That brought back traumatic memories. I cannot believe I lasted so long getting MoW. I wanted to give them a fair chance. Time only made their food seem even worse 😮 I still wish I got milk everyday, but that, the 2 bananas, 1 orange and the 2 pb cookies are all I liked. Bananas are .19 each at Trader Joe’s and the church gave me bananas and oranges twice. The heck with MoW. Ick. Yuck. Gross. I sincerely wish my SNAP was boosted by what was spent on those icky lunches each day! My world is nuts. That’s how social programs go.

Olive says see ya later.

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