Ack! I heard the weather forecast for this week and was inspired to put on clothes for the first time today….and take out garbage and recycling at 11 PM. Uhhhh….in the forecast, the sun doesn’t even bother to peek out on Tuesday. I kept telling myself I need to do laundry this week. The last time laundry was done was February 26th when the RS president came and took it away. I have been doing it by hand ever since. That’s 59 days. Tired of it. Things are looking dingy without a machine wash. Sigh….there had better be a break in the rain and a miraculous time of strength and feeling OK that coincide. Uh, huh…

The PT who is working on my wheelchair needs was stunned to find out I have no help with cleaning or laundry. I rattled off a few numbers from this winter that blew her mind…like how long between laundry or grocery shopping trips.

I was trying to look up the longest I have gone between laundromat visits when I stumbled on a picture from July 2015. I look like hell!!! But I also noticed how much my hair has turned white since then 😮  I also had more hair in my eyelashes and eyebrows.


Well….that’s depressing! These are how I look tonight. Why is all of me swollen? Why am I such a wreck? Life sucks without IVIg.


While I am at it, I have another rant. There was a time that I thought my departure from SLC was imminent. I stopped getting things like toilet paper in bulk and bought stuff in smaller packages. Toilet paper is literally a PITA! I made the HUGE mistake of buying Kroger TP last month. I don’t remember the exact name, but soft was part of it. Geezum crow! It was mush and disintegrated on contact. It left behind a zillion shards. That’s when I decided to try Trader Joe’s. It’s my new favorite now. It’s even cheaper than many brands at Smith’s (Kroger). But I manage to use a roll a day. That’s 67 cents a day for toilet paper, which is approximately $20.62/month. That’s most of my money not promised to something else! Most people are at work or school during the day. I am mostly home, so use just the TP I buy, and don’t get to freeload much. Why does it have to cost so much money to just exist?????

It’s 2 AM. I really need to go to bed…but I am scared. Something weird is going on. My body is vibrating, tremoring, shimmering, shaking, buzzing, numb and tingly. My eyesight is equivalent. Sometimes I imagine feelings like this to be the pull between life and death. I am the rag doll being tugged between realms. Spooky. Sounds dramatic, feels creepy.