Very overcast sky with bits of sun poking through. I was surprised it was 8 AM when I woke up, because it was dark outside. The wind was blowing faster and faster.

Opened the laptop and I was greeted with an air quality alert email that said: SALT LAKE County: Air Quality Condition: Moderate, Ozone Action Forecast: VOLUNTARY
Health Advisory: Air quality is acceptable; however for some pollutants there may be a moderate health concern for a very small number of people. For example, people who are unusually sensitive to ozone may experience respiratory symptoms. I must be one of those “unusually sensitive” people. Sigh….

I cannot remember what time it was when there was an enormous BOOM! Then the whole apartment building shook. Wow! There is often a very loud pop or boom when the power goes out….but that’s the most intense one, ever. If I go to the window and put my head against it, I can see the electrical transfer station from here. When the power did not come back on after 5 minutes, I reached down for my battery operated radio and tuned into KSL AM. Soon the traffic guy said power was out around my neighborhood, but nowhere else in SLC.

After about an hour, I was having a hard time breathing, with no fan on. I got dressed and went outside. Windy! Yet another new tenant, out on the smoking bench. He was totally, loopy drunk, first thing in the morning 😮 Just what we need….more drunks 😦 I came back inside and talked to the maintenance man. I said last time and this time that the power went out, the emergency lights did not come on. I said I had told the manager last time (who just blew it off as of no consequence). I also told him that the emergency lights quit working right after the new regular lights were installed in my hallway. I don’t think that was a coincidence. All the batteries for emergency lights were dead. I am sure it’s because they are not trickle charging any more.

I went back outside and left. I had nowhere to go….so just kept on rolling. I decided to go to Walmart. I wanted to look at stuff for something to do. Over and over I thought about how a one or two block trip was stretching my endurance….and now I was out just for the heck of it! Every day I am stunned, amazed and blown away by the difference steroids make. I was a little scared about going too far away for a couple of reasons…my guts hurt and a storm was brewing.

The forecast has that 4 ltter word in it…SNOW. Although the valley is still in the 60’s, the mountains are getting snow. In the middle of Utah Lake, they were getting dime sized hail at the same time I was out and about. From Walmart, I could see the tallest of the Wasatch Mountains, and the clouds above them were black.

new mug

I very slowly went around the store, looking at everything. I have wanted a covered, insulated cup for a long time now. If I forget to cover my cup with something, Olive drinks out of it. Not amused. I found a cup with stainless steel on the outside and plastic inside for $3.96. I hope I like it. I also hope it’s hard to break. I have been dropping cups at least once a day. One bad thing about steroids is my tremor comes back. I’m thinking a handle might help. We will see…..

lunch

I went down an aisle with clearance sales on both sides. There were jugs of dishwasher gel for $1.97 I got two. Yes! I was down to 6 pods left for the dishwasher. Then I went over to the food section and got some deli turkey $5.98, 2 pie crusts $2.16, 4 tomatoes .94, 2 avocados 50 cents each, 4 jalapenos .26. I didn’t spend much, but got a few useful things. I could not cook without electricity this morning, so it made me happy to have 3 open faced sandwiches when I got home. I got free wheat bread the other day. The slices are really small…but sturdy. Bread, mayo, turkey slices, tomato, avocado, fresh ground salt and pepper. These were good 🙂

Today’s myasthenia gravis alert is about a TEDx Talk. I heard the same things all the time….I looked tired, was I mad or sad?, try to smile, etc. Then there were the almost constant comments about how I must have been in the sun or did I know I had a sunburn?…from my lupus butterfly rash. And my mother was forever thinking I was whining or mumbling. It used to hurt my feelings real bad…because my voice was sometimes high pitched and nasally or I had a hard time talking. I have spent a whole lifetime being misunderstood. It gets old. It’s just the stupid autoimmune diseases acting up…not ME! “I’ve always wanted people to understand why I can’t smile,” Becky says. “When I can’t smile, people think I am mad or I am sad. I just want to be understood.” I understand! All too well!!!!!!! Yesterday someone mentioned my red face. I said I had a fever. She recoiled. I assured her it wasn’t catching…I just have lupus. Then she started apologizing. That felt even worse 😦 Multiply that times a bazillion so far in my 60 years.

This afternoon the manager came up to me and started his usual teasing. He came right up to my face and lifted his eyelid. I said my eye isn’t drooping when I’m on steroids…..is it???!?? He laughed and said I was the only person he knew who liked steroids. No shit! I went from being the living dead to feeling like a participant in life! The manager is forever offering to tape up my eye….or he makes a comment about me being droopy. Sigh…….

weather

Oh, oh…severe weather warning on TV. This time, quarter sized hail…..with lots of rain just north of here in Utah. At 4 PM, we are already in the 50’s. So….I started poking around regional weather sites. Look what’s happening in next door Wyoming! SNOWFALL…ACCUMULATIONS OF 15 TO 30 INCHES OF SNOW IS EXPECTED. Dang! The thunder out there sure is rumbly! A day of booms.

Good thing I happened to be looking at this morning’s downloads. I had already forgotten. I was researching how to apply for Sectuion 8 in Salt Lake county and city. Both lists are closed. People who live on $733/month disability are just SOL.

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I am trying to focus on all the outside influences on my life. What really needs fixing is my heart. Sometimes I get very, very tired of pretending to be way braver than I really am. Today has been one of those days.

notperfect

 

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