I keep doing this to myself. I look on various craigslists around the country and try to find a wheelchair accessible apartment…that I can afford…even if it’s as expensive as this place. There aren’t any. Then I look for wheelchair lift vans or small buses. All waaaaaaay too expensive. I do not want to be here. I cannot figure out how to leave.

I feel very helpless and hopeless 😦 I don’t know when I have felt so devoid of choices or possibilities. I have no clue what to do. The stupid tears are burning my face. I have had these acid tears for a few years now. Not helping 😦 I feel so alone and abandoned and without hope. It sucks. A lot.

I went to bed early, but am now awake. Some sort of community shouting match in the parking lot woke me up. I heard my name mentioned several times. I caught some old guy I have never seen before looking in my windows. There were people packing up that were apparently forced to leave on short notice. I have no idea what’s going on. I just want to go far, far away!


If you look close, you can see hard bumps that look a bit white on top. Both hands are suddenly covered in dozens of them. I take back anything nice I said about CeraVe cream. It felt good right up until I started itching like mad 😦 Back to the usual….anything a doc thinks is good, is BAD! So I Googled CeraVe allergy and it’s definitely not just me!


Here’s a close-up as they get worse! 😮 This is scaring me. My body is itching ALL over and hives are spreading to places that CeraVe never touched. Ohhhh…..crap! I guess I did not have enough to cry about.

Or….the beginning of the reaction….before I knew it was happening….probably triggered chemical despair and hopelessness. Whatever is causing it….it is getting worse by the second.

Seriously…..why me???