Well…that was more like it! I woke up 4 minutes before the alarm was supposed to go off…and turned the darn thing off. And like the morning before, I slept fine, and the moment I sat up, the wicked sharp pain seared through my back shoulder blade, into my lung. Darn.


Got ready and went to Smith’s. I had bought 4 packages of sausage links marked down to 79 cents each. All had stickers denoting the manager’s special. I was charged $1.99 each for 2 of them and 79 cents each for the other 2. As usual, I wonder how many people they rip off who never realize it? I only knew because I write down what I spend. I got my money back….but I have fantasies of never going there again. But who would that hurt? Me. It’s a long way to another big grocery store.


Next, it was off to the cancer center. At check-in I was told that the 2 docs only see 10 patients between them, each day. My doc spent more than 2 hours with me. At first I hated her. All she wanted to do was talk over me. We soon reached a truce about that. I still have mixed feelings about the appointment. The doc said she knows very little about MG or MCTD or hernias or anything wrong with me. She wanted to work with me to explore solutions.


I was looking for a hero….someone “bigger” and more powerful than me….someone who could actually DO something. She may or may not be useful. The jury is out. She went over the same old tired ideas…wear a band, get weight loss surgery, ask a surgeon what they can do to fix the hernia, etc. The nurse knew more about hernias than the doc. This doc refuses to believe the surgeons at the U won’t/can’t operate on me.


The most real part of our conversation was when she told me she is a fiscal conservative Republican, but now that she has this job, she wants to help everyone and get them what they need. Watching her deal with her own cognitive dissonance told me more about her than most anything ever could. She came right out and admitted she has always been the person in charge of making financial decsions in her past jobs, but now she meets real people and wants to make decisions in their best interest. I both lost and gained respect for her. How do people become automatons? How can they do things for years without a social conscience?


So….her big idea of the day was to try to reduce my hernia by pushing against it for about 10 minutes. Then she and the nurse tightened the binder around me. The band migrated up and off the hernia in about 2 seconds. With 2 people trying to get the band tight….and not succeeding…how the heck am I supposed to do it alone? It also made virtually no difference….except that it made me supremely dizzy and queasy!


She promised she was going to do research on other sorts of garments or appliances to squish in the hernia. She also wanted to find a surgeon. Said she would get back to me. I left feeling like it was a waste of time.


When I was home, the phone rang and it was someone from a surgeon’s office. I was super confused. Then the scheduler mentioned my email and photo. Ohhhhhhhhhh! Thanks to a comment from k8tedid56, I had written to the surgeon in the link. They take my insurance! I have an appointment next week.


I’m struggling to think and write tonight. That’s enough…..