shaky

Yet another morning I woke up with quivers and tremors. They were intense at least a couple of hours. It wasn’t low blood sugar, I was perfect at 98.  For a few weeks now, I have been having crazy muscle firing. I’m just sitting here and my left upper arm fires the muscles over and over and over again. The same happens to my left index finger and a spot between that finger and my thumb. Various other muscles get stuck firing over and over, but those are the main ones right now. It’s amazing how fatiguing that is. Neuromyotonia has been weirdly interesting for me. Just like most things wrong with me, it goes in cycles. It starts out small for a few days, increases in intensity until all the twitching makes me crazy….then it fades away. This can go on for weeks or months. By the time it disappears, I forget it ever happened…until it starts again.

After being awake a few hours, I started to get ready to go do laundry. I was so SOB that I was bent over and clutching my chest. I realized there was no way I had enough strength for laundry. I sat down and rested with the A/C blasting and the fan pointed at me. That at least makes my eye undroop, even if it does not stop my muscles from jumping.

I realized tomorrow is Sunday, so  went out to buy milk. That was probably not such a great idea. Between the double vision and tremors, I wasn’t steering the chair all that great. Temps in the 90’s and brutally strong sun. It felt pretty darn good to get into the A/C at Smith’s. When I left the store, I discovered a sink hole in the road that was big enough to swallow a car tire. I went to Ace Hardware to ask them to report it. The guy couldn’t care less. Then I told the manager at Trader Joe’s to let the city know. She seemed halfhearted and confused about it. Then I went back to Smith’s and asked them to put up a cone or a barrier and call the city. I was not convinced that anyone did anything. I found a page online to report things like potholes. I filled out a report. It got to a place to upload a pic. I was sooooooo mad! In all that excitement, I never took a pic! Dang it. The site says my report was forwarded to 3 government entities. I hope no one gets hurt because there is no responsible employee…especially on a weekend.

I’ve been home, sitting in A/C for hours. Still twitching, spasming and quivering. While I was out, the pain in my left lung moved lower. It was kind of like being punched. Boom! Into my back. It didn’t totally knock the air out of my lung like the other one, it was maybe a third as strong. I am very, very short of breath when I walk to the bathroom and back. My heart beats hard and fast when I move much. Pffffft! Usually my heart rate is 56-58. When it felt too fast this time, it was only in the 70’s. But dang, my heart is beating so hard that it makes the pulse ox bounce all over.

I felt so yucky that I took a 2 hour nap. I slept despite the crazy muscles, but went right back to the whole obnoxious twitching, quivering and muscle spasms on a grander scale when awake. I was reading my various groups and someone posted a link to this article about chronic illness. The Emotional Pain of Having an Illness That Won’t Get Better. Sometimes I want to hear it’s not just me who has all those thoughts and feelings! I’m mentally and physically worn out from always being sick and disabled. There’s no taking a vacation from it all.

sick-lives-matter

 

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