Up early for meds. Funny how if Olive doesn’t wake me up, I wake me up. Breathing has been a struggle “forever”. I can feel that my throat is too slack today. Yesterday while talking to my neighbor, my eye drooped shut. The fever is taking a bigger toll on my MG each day. Darn. I slept with the A/C on full blast. I woke up with a very cold nose from the rush of air through my CPAP mask….in stark contrast to being feverish everywhere else.


I opened the window and was all excited it was 63 degrees out there! But there was smoke in the air. Now that I have been awake for an hour, the apartment is full of smoke 😦 I was shocked to see video on TV of the thick, smoky air in Logan. There are wildfires all over northern Utah and down in the southern part of the state, they are having record rain and humidity.

Poverty rate is $11,880 for individuals. I get $8,796 in disability and $1,176 in food stamps each year, giving me an annual income of $9,972….still under the poverty threshold. I was reading articles about poverty this morning, so decided to do the numbers. $6,600 of my income goes for rent, $900 tithing, $727.68 for internet….that’s $8,237/year for my top three expenses. That leaves me $1,735 A YEAR to spend on all food, laundry, haircuts, doctor and medicine co-pays, cat food and litter, clothes, shoes, household supplies, and whatever else needs buying. Figuring out income and expenses by the year always seems even more dramatic than by the month. No wonder I feel so poor! I am.

Now that I get help from the church…that helps with food, toilet paper, shampoo, etc. I’m grateful that I no longer have to sit in lines outside in all sorts of weather, just to get free carby and rotten food at Food Not Bombs. That wore me out and made me sicker. Another huge help has been getting my Miralax through prescription at my doc’s pharmacy. It sure would be nice if I could get on some sort of housing. People here are incredulous that I wasn’t put at the top of the list for being disabled. I need to ask more questions about that.

In the afternoon, the wheelchair repairman came over to check out the damage to my chair. He took away both leg rests and is going to cut off the prongs that hang down and cause so much trouble. He is also going to help me make the chair more comfortable. More about all that another time.

Then it was time for my “shrink”. Really he’s just a counselor, by I like shrink better. We mostly talked about Rhett and I reconnecting and my jumbled emotions about that. He decided to sit in my old wheelchair, with the new comfy cushion. He kept falling asleep! πŸ™‚

Then I had to start getting ready for the church picnic. By 5:30 in the evening, I was already weary. I went outside and waited for the handicap lift van to pick me up. There were three able-bodied folks, plus me and Gordon in wheelchairs in the van. The driver had no idea where we were going! She drove us up a couple of one lane dead-end roads that were scary to get out of with the giant van. Finally she got us on the right road and drove too fast and too bumpy up into a canyon. I wanted to barf. I was ready to faint. Then dying sounded good. By the time we got to the picnic, we were about an hour late. The last thing I wanted was food πŸ˜›


I got a cup of ice and spent the next half an hour rubbing ice all over my face, behind and in my ears, on my wrists, arms, neck, etc. There had been no A/C in the back of the van where I was tied down in my power chair. I was burning up. I had to use my inhaler before we even got out of downtown. Riding in a wheelchair is absolutely NOTHING like riding on a regular car seat. I bounce up, down and sideways. It takes lots of belly muscles to remain upright.

So we get all the way to the top of the canyon for a bbq and no fires were allowed. Well, duh, the fire ban has been all over the news for days because of the hot, dry conditions and so many wildfires. So…..there were only raw hot dogs and hamburgers and veggie burgers. Who wants to eat them raw??? After maybe an hour, I felt hungry enough to have some salad, beans and brownie.

Then it was time to go back down the mountain. I did OK for about the first 4 miles, then I felt even worse than the trip up. I hope it’s just my imagination, but it feels like I did permanent damage to my hernia. Words cannot adequately describe how painful my entire abdomen is 😦 It feels like there is a new rip from belly button to breast bone…and another one from belly button, down to almost my leg on the left side.

I loved being up in the trees, but am not so sure the excruciating pain is worth it. Tomorrow should be interesting. I hope the damage is not as bad as it feels right now.