I left the apartment around 8 AM to go to my endocrinologist appointment more than an hour away. I have this neighbor that must see auras or something. She stopped me to ask if I was alright. We talked a bit and she pointed out I was short of breath. She knew I was in MG crisis last year. Hmmmmmm……
About half way to the doc’s on TRAX, I had crushing chest pain. Soon my left jaw and left arm were numb. My left lung wasn’t breathing well. It felt like a sword was sticking through my left side from front to back. I have never felt such crushing chest pain before. Soon I could not move my left arm or leg. It felt like a worse version of a couple of months ago. I kept trying to convince myself it was all in my head. I tried the biofeedback things I learned years ago. I also was wondering if I should call 911 from the train. It felt like holding onto consciousness was a huge big deal.
I made it to my stop, but it’s more than half a mile up to the hospital. I again considered calling 911. I was afraid of missing my endo appointment, though :-p I kept going. I got in the doc’s office and the nurse was concerned. At first I tried to act like it was no big deal. What was I thinking????? When the doc saw me, she was somewhat alarmed. She decided to set me up with all kinds of new docs and services. I was declining even more in front of her eyes. She got someone to take me to the ER….in the next building over. My voice got all broken between office and hospital. I lost my ability to talk soon after being admitted. Much of what happened for the next few hours is either not in my memory banks or is a big blur.
I remember not knowing my birthday and other frustrating questions. Everyone was running around and yelling that I was having a stroke. They put me in the room for people with the biggest emergencies. The whole room was full of people working on me. I became “dead weight”. It took a whole bunch of people to move me from test to test and do things to me. I had 2 or 3 CT scans, ECG, lots and lots of blood tests and lots I do not remember.
At least I was able to make myself understood a few hours later when they were about to inject dye in me! I said “IV solumedrol first, allergic!”. They shot me up with 125 ml of solumedrol and some IV Benadryl. It took a whole crew to move me from stretcher to machine. The entire morning and part of the afternoon, I had wicked bad double and blurry vision. While inside the machine, staring up at a dot, suddenly my eyelid flew open! When they took me out of the machine, I was trying to tell the nurse that. She was amazed that my whole face had undrooped and my eyes were wide open. After a sentence or two, my voice was as clear and strong as could be!!!
Now it felt like the hospitalization for myasthenic crisis….when I was in ICU, got IV solumedrol and IVIg…and I could walk and talk. The nurse today was flabbergasted. She said I had been unresponsive and here I was talking and bouncing around. She repeated “unresponsive” several times. I was???!!!???!!!??? Isn’t that kind of like being almost dead? Yikes! I noticed the dry erase board for people in ER rooms said I was there for CVA….cerebral vascular accident! Later she told me that I am not the only one she has ever seen that sprang into life from steroids. I made her tell me more stories because I could not believe that I had been that bad, then suddenly felt better than I have in months. I could easily raise both arms in the air…something that has been almost impossible for a very long time.
Me, while I was starting to feel better 🙂 Look! No droop!
They wanted to get me a wheelchair-van ride home. I said heck no! This is the best I have felt in a long time! I got on TRAX and got off at COSTCO. I was in need of frozen fruits 🙂 I got in the main door at my apartment building and a friend asked me what was going on. I told her the story. Then she mentioned it was ward temple night and was I still going? It was ten to five and I was supposed to be at the temple at 5:30. I quick swallowed my evening meds, shot up some insulin, grabbed my temple clothes and was out the door in less than 10 minutes. Of all the days to go to the temple! I had almost died and was now hyper.
Turns out the ward picked up everyone’s tab at the temple cafeteria! 🙂 I got a taco salad. I only ate a tiny bit of it. I was too busy talking. I also kept choking on both food and water. I have eaten mostly ice cream and Hawaiian ice for a couple of weeks now. While at COSTCO, I choked on 3 free food samples. My swallower was NOT working, even with the steroids. In retrospect, it seems obvious I was heading for an MG meltdown, but I was in some serious denial.
It takes a loooooooong time and a lot of work to do an endowment session. God sent me angels. My voice got totally broken, I was beyond neon red, I was sweating profusely, I was tremoring, the fuzzy vision was back, I was listing to one side and way slumped over and I was quivering. I got lots and lots of help from very kind people. By the time I got to the celestial room at the end, tears were streaming down my face. I kept thinking of all the times Rhett and I went to the temple together. I was also crying because so many people were being so nice to me. Words cannot describe how shocked I was at my rapid decline. I decided to go to church 2 weeks ago because I felt like I was going to die. I went to the temple today for the same reason.
While coming home, I realized that three huge burdens had been lifted from me…I was able to make it through sacrament meeting, I found out Rhett was alive and well and I was able to go to the temple. Until those burdens were lifted, I had no idea how heavy they were.
I got home after 10:30 PM. Now that I took more meds thanks to Olive’s prompting, am wearing a flimsy nightgown and am in front of the fan, some of my strength has come back. I’m again having chest pain and numbness. I keep telling God He can have me back any time.
I also came home to gifts! The wedge pillow that should help my breathing, a case of tissues for all my allergies and tears and some kitty treats for Olive 🙂 Last night I also discovered a bottle of blueberry syrup leaned against my door. Terri O….your kindness and generosity overwhelm me! Thank you. May a zillion blessings come back at you 🙂
I guess I need to live longer to enjoy my friends and my gifts. Thank you 🙂