APOE_gain_loss

The dermatologist and I were talking about my DNA testing and that it pointed to my propensity towards autoimmune diseases. I also mentioned that I was likely to have full-blown Alzheimer’s in the next 5 years. He looked very sad, shook his head and said he would not want to know. Not wanting to know never occurred to me.

Alzheimers

I decided to read more about my genes and Alzheimer’s. I have the worst gene mutation for it and 128 genes related to Alzheimer’s….some for the good….some for the bad. These are the top magnitude genes listed that are related to Alzheimer’s. There are whole support groups for people with two copies of the ApoE-ε4 allele.

shrug

I have already spent my entire life dealing with one medical challenge after another. It’s almost a shoulder shrug for me. I already knew I was going to be ditzy if I got old. My mother, her mother and her mother’s mother were. My biggest problem with Alzheimer’s is that I don’t want people to get mad at me for it. I’ve already had a lifetime of brain fog from my autoimmune diseases, then got worse brain problems from WNV and ultimately it will be Alzheimer’s if I live long enough.

People get impatient with me for my physical problems. It’s going to raise to the level of exasperation with my dementia. I hope folks remember there’s not much I can do about any of it. I’m trying my best….really.

Wow! This is a really good article. A neuroscience researcher reveals 4 rituals that will make you happier. I definitely need more hugging….from people that I want to hug me 🙂

hug

I’ve been thinking a lot about Rhett. It makes me sad that our lives together were in so much chaos. I obviously loved him….sometimes it was a lot harder liking him, though. Sooooooo much going on in our own lives with our own problems and then as a couple. It’s especially sad how things have been left between us. He believes a bunch of things that just aren’t true. I have had to realize that who’s “right” and who’s “wrong” doesn’t matter….sometimes all that matters is perception. If Rhett is mad at me for things that aren’t true, I just have to let it go. I have huge faith that in eternity, all things will be clear and made whole. I only talked to him that one day. We had a great time catching up…and who knows what happened, but he never called back. I have to say a zillion times to myself, that the whole thing is in God’s hands. Someday I will understand what this was all about.

The good news is that I have only used half as many tissues to blow my nose. The bad news is that I am choking and sneezing more. Sneezing rips my hernia even more than coughing does 😦 There’s a new hernia protrusion above the vertical cut and to the left of the middle seam. That’s where it ripped after the ride up the canyon…and thanks to coughing and sneezing, it just rips more.

I got a call today about a gastroenterologist referral. My endocrinologist was not happy with the APRN, FNP-C, DNP gastro I have been seeing. I will be going to a guy who has mostly good reviews and lots of experience. The endo wants the gastro to look at my hernia, evaluate the severity of my gastroparesis and see what’s happening with my diverticulitis and all those colon to organ fistulas…among other things. I just love getting a new doc up to speed about my medical history….NOT!

cope

I really should have made other calls today, but it does not take much to reach my limit for coping with things I don’t want to deal with. I’m already overwhelmed with MG and allergies and my ER visit, the sores all over me and a bazillion other things I need to do…like see a dentist, go back to the NP, make an appointment with a pain clinic doctor, vet for Olive, washing my temple stuff that smells moldy, buying a few groceries and on and on and on….

Again, my blood sugar is nuts. My guess is a combo of steroids, gastroparesis and an infection are making my blood sugar go up. For breakfast, I just had 2 brats and a puddle of mustard. Negligible carbs…and my blood sugar went up to 283 😮 Until yesterday, I had been generally keeping it below 170, with most tests in the 80 to 100 range. I sure will be glad when my insulin pump is OK’d by insurance!

I haven’t left my apartment since Saturday. Today is SNAP day, but even that wasn’t enough to pry me out of my chair. I feel too yucky to venture out.

dontworry

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