Every morning when I first wake up, I spend at least an hour trying to stop drowning in snot. This is ridiculous. Steroids, Benadryl, Zyrtec and Flonase….and it’s as if I am taking none of them. I should probably not go into graphic detail, but swallowing and breathing get harder each day. Ugh….an awful night. I was so hyper from steroids that I did not go to bed until 3:30 AM and I slept very fitfully for 4 hours. The whole time I was shivering and ice-cold. I cannot warm up this morning, either. It’s all my internal systems messing up because it is not cold in here.

Once I took steroids yesterday morning, my blood sugar shot way high. No matter how much I corrected for it all day, right up to bed-time, it was impossibly high….like around 350. My insulin pump has maximum boluses and it would not correct more than that. Today I need to learn how to supplement with shots and tell my pump what I have done. I have no clue how. The reason to control my blood sugar now, no matter how long I have to live is because when it’s that high, I feel like I’m going to die right then. My heart pounds and I alternate between hot flushes and freezing cold. It’s all around not pleasant.

This in between place between life and death is confusing and frustrating. I still want to do things, but I feel soooooooo sick. Meds can make me hyper, but the sick never goes away. I woke up quivering and tremoring head to toes and it’s not letting up.


Without eating, my blood sugar went high again today. I  have been going through my books and online sources to try to figure out why. Suddenly there was a big air bubble in the insulin reservoir. It wasn’t there every other time I looked. All sources told me to try putting in a new infusion set. I took the old tubing off me to find that it was probably delivering only a fraction of the insulin, if any at all. The tip of the tubing was bent over under the adhesive that sticks it to my belly. I got out a new set, filled up a new reservoir, put it in the pump and kept getting the NO DELIVERY alarm. I took the reservoir out and repeated the correct steps 3 times. No such luck. I called the 800 help #. The guy was very nice. While trying to follow his instructions, I accidentally stuck my hand and the tubing to the adhesive. That meant I had to get out another set. I get 10 a month and have now breezed through 4. Medtronic says they are shipping me 2 free sets to make up for the 2 wrecked due to operator error.

So once I tried with the second set today, it worked just fine. But….when the adhesive stuck to my belly, a section of tubing was stuck between me and the set. I very carefully got it unstuck and hope I did not pull the tubing out of my skin. Learning how to do this whole insulin pump thing is a lot to remember and do just right. Try doing all this while quivering and shaking…with double and blurry vision and very little strength. Good thing no one was around. I could tell my anger, frustration and lack of patience rising higher than my blood sugar. I hate being incompetent! Sigh….


Of course it was right at that point that Olive jumped into my supply box, sent insulin pump gear flying in all directions….while batting the pieces around and trying to chew on them. At that very moment, I started sneezing uncontrollably and getting snot everywhere. GAH!!!!! Of course for a few hours just before this, I had nuclear meltdown diarrhea and horrid chemical smells were coming from my breath. I hope it wasn’t DKA! I was getting too weak to be useful for anything. It was now time for brain melt down. The help line guy very politely informed me he could not send me a new brain or body, but he’d like a new brain, too. He was very nice and calm 🙂


It’s a good thing I had just watched 2 videos. I never get tired of Simon’s Cat on YouTube. He is so right-on about cats 🙂


Wiped out exhausted today! It’s my own fault for taking advantage of the steroid high to do more than my body is otherwise capable of….but it was fun and worth it! 😛 Is there enough rest to ever get me back on a more even keel? I hope so. I do not feel here. Olive knows there’s something new wrong with me and when she’s not trying to chew on medical equipment, she is hovering all around me…wanting to breathe my breath, touch my face with her paw or be petted. And let’s not forget the cat treats! While reaching for the bazillionth tissue, I realized I was myasthenia gravis weak on top of everything else. I got out the Mestinon and Olive jumped on me, while meowing, because she was positively starving to death. Of course she knocked the med bottle top out of my hands. Now we are both medicated with our drugs of choice. Olive has moved to a chair for nap time.Thank you again for the kitty treats. I had bought a $1 bag of treats at Smith’s. She’s glad they are gone, because they are not up to her standards. Olive’s enjoying the party mix 🙂


I had to drag out the folding chair for all the nurses lately. The mean nurse made the rung come out of the red chair. Figures 😛 Olive is just a little black blob. She likes both of those chairs, the two power chairs, her suitcase bed, my bed and the top shelf of a dresser for a variety of sleeping spots for each mood. She only goes above the refrigerator if she’s miffed at me or guests.


I hope nothing more “interesting” happens today. I seriously need a long, restful nap before the next disaster or crisis comes along.