used-up

I did pretty darn well. This quote is what I have been living by. I’m feeling used up. I did more in the last 10 days than in a usual month. Thank goodness for steroids! I hate what the steroids have done to my body…especially my face, but it’s that or go back to not functioning. I am particularly partial to breathing 🙂

I liken this to being similar to when I am in a vehicle and really have to pee. As long as I know it will be half an hour to get home, I can endure. I knew this may be the last time I saw my daughter or grandkids, so I endured as well as I could. I have been dizzy and weak, but I functioned anyways. I knew it was a sprint, not a long slog. There was no need to conserve my strength. I was able to push through most things.

ham-plane

Now that Heather and the kids are on the plane, I have given myself permission to fall apart. I have been having so much bleeding in my intestines that it’s affecting me with even more dizziness, weakness, fast heartbeat, difficulty breathing and flushed face. A few times now, I have started to get a fever, but it keeps disappearing. I want to be like my father, grandfather, grandmother and others who just dropped dead one day. I want to go, go, go….then drop. I hate being in bed and I sure as heck am going to try to avoid the hospital.

Most people are used to dealing with cancer or heart disease as a life-ending event. Here are the top 10 causes of death in the US. Having multiple chronic illnesses along with a humongous hernia is way less understood. Here’s a guy that had a hernia like mine and got operated on. I’d rather die than go through what this guy did! Sometimes NOT doing surgery is the most humane thing.

salmon-sushi

Lunch time! I found yesterday’s leftover sushi burrito in the fridge 🙂 Last night I ate a Vegas roll. It had Fresh Salmon, Cream Cheese, Crab Salad, Lettuce, Avocado, Cucumber, Spicy Mayo, and Eel Sauce with Crunchies. I think the one in my fridge must be a Salmon Bomb…Grilled Salmon, Sesame Seeds, Bacon, Lettuce, Cabbage, Purple Tomato, and Carrot. My first food from Sushi Burrito on 8th. I had today’s sushi with sweet chili sauce and pickled ginger. It was good…but I think I will stick with Trader Joe’s sushi for $3.49 instead of a sushi burrito for $8.99.

First thing this morning, an ambulance and fire truck were here. They took away a man I had never seen before. Turns out he just moved in. Lots and lots of hermits and new people in this building. I talked to Buster today. He and Jack made sure to have treats with them each day for my grandkids 🙂

While Heather was here, I was sorting through paperwork so I could recycle the junk. I was surprised when I found a paper dated September 8th saying I have diabetic nephropathy. I don’t remember anybody telling me I had it. My calendar says I was at the endocrinologist’s office that day. I do remember her saying my aorta had calcified. At this point, none of that matters. Sometimes I feel like I have more things wrong with me at the same time, than anyone on earth. I know I don’t….but I must be a contender! The miracle is that I am still alive today 🙂

I have had kidney problems “forever”. When I was young, it was blamed on lupus, in the middle docs claimed CHF was the cause for the high albumin, my poor GFR was from West Nile Virus and now the endo says it’s diabetic nephropathy. From my point of view, it depends on which specialist I see 😛

be-kind

I was outside talking/listening to the kvetchers who gather several times daily. Mostly they gossip about one person after another. Depressing! Some of these “experts” have decided that there is nothing wrong with me. I wish they were right. Sigh…..my guts feel terrible. Maybe if I sleep enough they will feel better?

It’s another gorgeous day 🙂 Started out in the 40’s, but it’s now mid 70’s. We have rain in the forecast for next week. I like this weather! Not too hot, not too cold. The trees on my street are getting towards peak foliage. Ahhhhhhhhh……

porterfletcherchinaplane

By afternoon, Heather and the kids were on the plane from California to China. Gee…Porter and Fletcher look like they might be watching a video 🙂 They become zombies in front of a screen. Comes in useful for long flights.

I keep trying to get together enough motivation to go through the Logan Canyon and playground pics…but it’s not happening. Perhaps another day??? Here’s some cuteness to tide you over 🙂

in-there i-want-to-crawl

happy-porter

 

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