The heart monitor is a PITA. It’s heavy and the clip is not very useful. The worst part is trying to keep the leads stuck to me. Some of the things that stick to my chest only stay stuck for a couple of hours each. I have to keep the monitor hidden or the blinking blue lights every 10 seconds make me want to fling it across the room 😛


This has been a lot to wrap my mind around. I was all set to slip away into death….and now it’s possible that some part of me can be fixed for a change. But of course I keep doubting that my heart is the problem. It feels more like something wrong with my head. But…’s the head not getting enough oxygen that can be caused by the heart. Around and around I go in my mind. I really don’t know what to think.


There were a bunch of near fainting episodes today. I hope the machine got them and will help someone make sense of all this. It’s mildly reassuring that if an event is bad enough, someone will call and tell me to go to the hospital. I hate trying to figure out what’s significant and what is merely annoying.


The missionaries brought back my very clean and neatly folded laundry today 🙂 Then later, the bishop and my other home teacher came by and gave me a blessing. I felt very uplifted. In the evening, a woman from the building came by to check on me and to give me an update on Kissing Helen. I feel so bad about her 😦 She passed out and was pretty badly hurt from the fall. I hear she is very black and blue, has cracked ribs, a sore arm and hurts all over. I need to go visit her tomorrow. I NEVER go in anyone else’s apartment. Must. Be. Brave!


I never went out of my apartment today…but I did get dressed to host all the visitors. The highlight of my food day was taking chicken from the freezer and cooking it in the pressure cooker with Korean bbq sauce. I then used it in a salad made from part romaine and part chopped salad, cheese crumbles, bleu cheese dressing and chow mein noodles.


I think it might have been a nice day today. My window was wide open and I still needed the fan on me the whole time. I remember looking at the sky a bunch of times. Truth is that time has been harder and harder for me to judge. Changing the clocks last night isn’t helping. I am in my own la la land. Wunderground says it was 68 for a high. It’s 55 degrees now and I still have the window open and fan on me. Most of the time I am burning up and sweaty.


I wish my brain worked better. I feel rather blank.


I wonder how hard geese have to think?