I fell asleep last night with my heart feeling like it was going to pound right out of my chest. It hurt a lot. I woke up 10 hours later and the first thing I noticed was my armpits were swollen up and painful. When I stood up, my heart went nuts just like last night. I also felt swollen lymph nodes all over me. Now what?


I was thinking that I hoped the monitor got all that and I looked at it. The darn thing was suspended. I think I have woken up with the meter suspended most every morning. One day I thought it was because a lead had fallen off, then another day I thought it was because the battery had gone dead. This morning, once I plugged the heart monitor into the charger, it said low battery. I charged it for hours yesterday. Something is wrong with the #$%^&! thing.


I never felt well yesterday. I hate those days where a trip to the dumpster is the highlight of my day. It wasn’t all that long ago that I would go days without leaving my apartment. I am grateful that steroids have given me more of a life than that. I’m bummed about the two steps forward, three steps back of late. The woman upstairs has saturated my apartment in cigarette smoke. My nostrils are totally swelled shut 😦 Even mouth breathing feels swollen and difficult.


I was about ready to cry from the cigarette smoke, so got dressed and took out the garbage. See what I did there? Recycling yesterday, garbage today. I need excuses to get up and go. As usual, I had no destination in mind when I left. I took pics of the snow still on a chair and snow on the mountains. Then I just kept going. I got to Courthouse station just as a red train pulled in. I had no time to think. A UTA guy opened the door for me….so I got on that train 🙂

I went to Costco for tortilla chips and got on the blue line for home. There were hordes of people waiting for the red trains because it’s a home game for the Utes football team. I only knew that because there were so many people wearing and carrying red. A bunch of people had on red t-shirts that said GAME DAY. Blue trains are the ones who have to let down the drawbridge for wheelchairs to get on. The driver asked me what station I wanted to get off at. I said Courthouse. At the next stop he opened his door and again asked where I was going.

So we get to Courthouse and he doesn’t open his door or let me off. I pulled forward to tap on his door and hit it with the footrests. He thanked me for getting his attention :-p I tried to get off the train and my armrest fell way down. The driver grabbed it and put it right. He drove the train off. At that point I realized my chair would not move. Here I was up on the tall cement ramp and as I was trying to go forward, the entire arm/controller arm fell off 😮

I was already struggling with breathing, balance and staying focused. My chair was up high and tipped back to stave off some of the leg edema. There are thigh guards on each side. I had to wiggle to the edge of my seat and sort of fall to the ground. There were only a few inches between the chair and the ramp edge. It would be very awful if I were to fall from that height onto the tracks 😦 It’s all a blur, but that’s when women wearing red came running up the ramp to help me. These women were thin, but there wasn’t enough room to stand between my chair and the edge without overhanging. Wouldn’t you know….that’s when the green line train pulled up. The driver tooted and yelled at us. I told him my chair wouldn’t move. He got on the radio. I did not think about why.

The women and I were trying to figure out how to put the arm back on the chair. I was almost fainting and mightily gasping for air. I finally figured out that the arm went on a bar in the back. It must not have been tightened very well when the wheelchair company put it together. I got it on and finger tight. Then I had to get back into my high, tipped back seat. Not easy! Then….the chair would still not move. After trying the same futile things over and over with the women getting all flustered, I decided to turn the chair off and go through the different screens on the controller. It worked! Just as I got the chair to move, the cavalry showed up.

I was sooooooo confused! The UTA workers said the train driver had called them. Now I understand why there are UTA workers and trucks ALL over! They got there quick! But too late to help me. They were super nice and said they would always be there to help 🙂 Their niceness partially redeems all the other drivers that drove off without letting me on the train.

So I start toodling down Main Street and see this puff of smoke coming towards me. I look around and a traffic accident has just happened! I felt sick 😦 A whole bunch of people surrounded the SUV. I wish I had my wits about me to take a pic right away. It was a group of Muslim men and women refugees. They were the first to care and rush over. When the scene got crowded, they left. I have no idea how people in the 2 vehicles fared. Once all the emergency people and vehicles showed up, I left. Here’s what I saw in pics…





























After all the emergency vehicles got there and crowds were gathering, I kept going towards home. So….the whole TRAX thing shook me up. I was absorbed in my own little world of panic from that. I wasn’t really paying attention to anything except the sidewalk near me. When I saw the accident, my first thought was there was someone having a way worse day than mine! I took those pics and was thinking about all that. Then it hit me! If the arm had not fallen off my wheelchair, I would have been at this intersection when the cars collided! 😮 Whoa….a whole new perspective.

I then realized how lucky I was. All the way home I wondered how many times in my life that angels had intervened? Sobering. I almost zoomed right to my apartment, but Buster was sitting by the mailboxes and he didn’t look so good. I turned around and went to talk to him. He was tired because his housekeeper had canceled out on him many times lately. It had been 3 weeks since his laundry was done. He’s 90 or 91, with a pacemaker and other issues. He’s a WW2 vet full of shrapnel. Well, he went up and did his own laundry 😮 He started looking a bit better while we talked. Pretty soon my window stalker, Marion, the woman who lives above me and a few others gathered around.

Brian told me he had come over to my window and found me “sleeping” with my earphones on. I asked him what I looked like. He said my eyes and mouth were open and I was slumped to one side. I told him I had lost consciousness several times. He then realized that yes….that’s what it looked like! Gosh 😦

That got everybody talking about my heart monitor, hospice, docs and crummy Utah healthcare. I was touched! All those people had done a lot of thinking about me. At one point, the people facing the door said the son of a woman here went out very obviously trashed on drugs. Awhile later, he comes back in with his bike and flops onto a couch. He was mumbling incoherently. The guy always scares me….even on his better days. He had been in jail for weeks…but his mother bailed him out. Everybody here is scared of him. I went and got the RA. She called the cops. It wasn’t until I wrote that….duh! I realized he must be on probation. He got caught stealing from cars in the parking lot, so I was surprised to see him here. I thought he would have been banned. People have been talking about him being here for days.


I came back to my apartment to try to calm down. I read an email from one of the service missionaries. She asked if she could come get my laundry. I said sure 🙂 I was uploading pics into the chromebook when there was a tap on my window! She had gotten here in a flash. I got in my old wheelchair to go open the front door for her. Big crash. I hit a power outlet and gouged a hole in the wall 😦 Soooooooo dizzy! I get to the front door and she is being lectured by the RA. Turns out the RA was actually being nice and was telling her that next time she could buzz her to get in 🙂 It took a bit, but I realized the RA was waiting by the front door for cops or someone to come take away the druggy.


It took a few hours, but I am now realizing that me getting the RA involved means that basically I just sent the guy back to jail. Maybe I will be killed before my health problems do me in? Sigh…..


Some days are just way more eventful than others, huh? As I was feeling a whole range of emotions, I looked up to see sun shining on the foothills. No more snow up there! Then I took pics as the sun went down. Pretty 🙂



pretty-sky sky sunset