It is so hard to breathe that I wish I could just stop. It has gotten so most every hour I am awake is torture. It used to be just a struggle. Now it’s also wicked painful. Wicked, wicked painful. I was awake a few hours this morning and the crushing pain sent me back to bed with the CPAP and oxygen. I slept maybe 3 hours. When I woke up, my apartment was full of smoke 😦 I looked out in the hallway and discovered it was food box day. Got dressed and went to the community room.


Right away, the old guy kept asking me what was wrong. I could not see and was soaked in sweat. I could not speak even though my voice was not broken. My diaphragm was busy fluttering. Not much in the food box worth keeping. I gave back canned potatoes, government cheese, bran flakes, tomato juice, rice, peas, skipjack tuna, fruit cocktail and maybe more. It was all a blur. I kept 2 boxes of milk, pb, rice krispies, diced tomatoes, a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread. I don’t eat dry cereals…but was thinking about making rice crispy treats. Not exactly great for a diabetic 😛


I was drenched in sweat from that short foray out into the world. Ever since, I have been sitting in front of the fan, trying to breathe. My life sucks 😦 The other intense pain is my lower abdomen. It’s a combo of sharp and burning pain. It feels like it’s trying to kill me…..I wish! Hours and hours later and sweat is still pouring out of me. Oh, my gosh!


I do have a doc appointment tomorrow. It will be interesting to see what the wound swab and blood tests say. I also want to ask the doc if he has any other ideas for getting me a hospice company that won’t flake out. I have been barely able to read or think all day.


And you know what else sucks? Apartment inspection tomorrow. I’m too weak to care…I guess.