I figure we all need to become more humble. I’m tired of hearing how much better some folks are than others. Everybody is a mix of good/bad, smart/stupid, kind/nasty, etc, etc….on and on an on…..
It has always been obvious that some of us are blessed with varying amounts of each trait…and that sometimes one way of being is treasured more than others.
One of the things I both love and hate is suddenly remembering things I have said or done throughout my life. Those little movies pop into my head more regularly now that my mortality might be coming to an end. It’s the slow motion version of life passing before my eyes. There’s plenty to be embarrassed about! There are also lots of good things 🙂
You know what I like? The way I came to think about Vermont and Vermonters. It’s a small state. The capital was only around 8,000 people and I lived 10 or 12 miles away. Our town was fairly close-knit. Generally everybody knew everything about each other….and were still friends 😛 People were who they were…it felt like live and let live. Sure, people had a sense of who to trust and who not to….but all were still part of the fabric of the community.
Ugh. I took a morning diuretic and then decided FORGET IT for the afternoon pill. One eye was drooped closed and I was getting too weak to keep going back and forth to the bathroom. Besides, I had a shrink appointment.
I just love the stock questions he has to ask me. If he thinks I’m crazy….he hasn’t said so 😛 I am grateful for the every other week visits. I can compare and contrast the 2 week blocks with other chunks of time. His visits are my measuring stick. Just like everyone else, he seems to be surprised that I endure as well as I do. Only God knows why I am still alive. I guess I am good at being a wreck. I have a lot of practice. Every time I wake up, I am surprised I am still here.
Watch this video of a Utah skier going over a cliff 😮 His thank you is the same awe I feel at still being alive every morning.
Yes, I am still grossly swollen, but see the tiny wrinkles? That’s an improvement. The best part is that it is easier to breathe 🙂 I coughed and choked all morning, but haven’t been as bad this afternoon. The worst part of all this is that each time I get a bit better, eventually I relive it over and over like in the movie Groundhog Day.
My food has been biting back 😦 I made breakfast and seriously wondered whether I would live through the experience. It was onion, mushrooms, a baby zucchini, eggs, avocado and cheese, served with salsa. I had to spend most of my time leaned over the counter to be able to breathe and hold myself up. My core strength is going, going, almost gone. I had to sit quite awhile before eating so I could suck in enough air.
Oh, my gosh! The food hit my guts like a lead cannonball….and just sat there 😦 My blood sugar had been good. The more my breakfast just sat there, the more my blood sugar soared. I went from 90 to 132, 278 and then 310 😮 And that’s despite shooting up a whole lot more insulin each time I tested. I never did eat lunch…or supper. Ohhhhhh…..my guts…..