That’s what I said when waking up 12 hours after I got in bed 🙂 Those were solid hours of sleep, with no waking up. I needed that very much. The steroid life can be fun, but it sure depletes my strength and coping skills.
I keep wondering what effect…good or bad, the Xifaxan is having on me. I don’t know how I lived through the c-diff I got in Florida. That was months of debilitating gut distress. It reappeared in NY. Then it faded away after weeks of agony. Ever since WNV and then the hysterectomy and it’s complications, my guts were left in an inoperable mess. I was surprised that Xifaxan might offer some relief. The jury is still out. I continue to have bouts of internal bleeding and wicked bad gut pain. Something has changed though. I have not been taking my twice daily Miralax. I thought I would need that “forever”. But…are my guts getting better….or is c-diff coming back?
With gastroparesis, food stays in the stomach way too long. That slows down the whole digestive system. Miralax helped it all keep moving, whether it wanted to or not. I quickly learned to faithfully take Miralax, no matter what my guts were doing that particular day. With Xifaxin, the guts seem to be working better. I am a bit concerned that the balance has tipped too far the other way. Things feel suspiciously like c-diff again. One theory is this antibiotic has changed my gut biome so that the resistant c-diff bacteria have an opportunity to take over again. I hope not!
For now, I have one more reason to be weak and dizzy. These quick trips to the bathroom are draining more than my intestines. It’s also zapping my strength. Ugh…..not feeling well at all. This too shall pass….right???? Triple ugh!
Not liking food, then having it zip through me when I do eat is the sort of weight loss program I was hoping to avoid. Ironically, my freezer is full of decent food and I can’t bear the thought of eating it. Life is ironic like that. Years of struggling to get decent food and then decent food…but no hunger.
Hmmm….a conjunction of thoughts. I have been listening to one great program after another on NPR. I have also been answering questions in support groups and thinking about my gut distress. What I realized is that a curious mind needs lots of background info. All through life, I have been nosey…about plants, the sky, chemicals, why things are, etc. I could sort through the science I have learned and retained, plus read books and ask questions to help figure out stuff.
Cooking depends on a basic knowledge of food, then building on that knowledge with creativity. With a bunch of people from different cultures fusing ideas together, we got to this point in time of culinary understanding. Some people are looking for the new and different, some people seek to tweak the oldies and others search out food from history. It’s not very often that a totally clueless person puts together improbable ingredients to invent a new food we all love.
Without basic understandings, we are all flailing around in the dark. Scientific experimentation is a basic need in life. Maybe it has been discovered a zillion times before, but when we discover something for ourselves, we feel ownership….and we are more likely to remember. When it comes to health, my life is one big long experiment. If we were all clones, that would be easy. If we ate ice cream, we would all have the same result…no worrying about some folks being lactose intolerant or some who gain weight just by looking at ice cream.
I have been trying to figure out my guts. Why do I either feel like a cannon ball in my belly or need to run to the bathroom after eating some things, but not others? The more scientific data, the easier it is to figure out. But…there also has to be intuition and random guessing. The more we know, the more we can extrapolate, the more we trust our gut instincts, the more we are open to randomness.
Someone said they did not want to take regular doses of Mestinon because they did not want to become dependent on it. That’s a statement from someone who does not understand the rudimentary facts about the myasthenia gravis disease process, someone who does not understand the difference between mitigating destruction and chemical dependence. There’s a lot to learn in life. We are all adding new info and are on different levels of our learning process. With MG, the immune system is hell bent on destroying the junction between nerves and muscles. To treat MG, we can either add more of the chemical being destroyed, or try to regulate the immune response. With better understanding, better tools and lots of experimentation, someday there will be better treatments.
There must be a reason why we understand the most at the end of life. It seems like the other way around would be easier. I often wish I had more understanding as a mother. But how smart could I have been in my 20’s? 😛 I had to live through 60 years of experiences to see what action led to what consequence and what sort of person is better to trust than another. I have both learned greater compassion and better discernment….yet it’s never enough. I like the belief that after all this learning, it’s not wasted at death.
Spencer W Kimball said….
“We are limited in our visions. With our eyes we can see but a few miles. With our ears we can hear but a few years. We are encased, enclosed, as it were, in a room, but when our light goes out of this life, then we see beyond mortal limitations. …
“The walls go down, time ends and distance fades and vanishes as we go into eternity … and we immediately emerge into a great world in which there are no earthly limitations.”
President Brigham Young stated…
“I shall not cease learning while I live, nor when I arrive in the spirit- world; but shall there learn with greater facility.”
Orson Pratt explained this ability by declaring…
“Instead of thinking in one channel, knowledge will rush in from all quarters; it will come in light like the light which flows from the sun, penetrating every part, informing the spirit, and giving understanding concerning ten thousand things at the same time; and the mind will be capable of receiving and retaining all.”
This is a really good article. Life After Death: 6 Insights into the Spirit World
What happens after we die?